Bumper Sticker Say Wha?

There are two types of people in this world: those who sticker their bumpers, and those who don't. We fall in the latter category. We just don't understand the desire to put your religious and political beliefs, socioeconomic status, number of kids, job, pet, and emotional state on a 3 x 10 inch vinyl rectangle for all the world to see. That's what blogging is for.

Bumper stickers are meant to get a reaction, and sometimes we're not sure what that reaction is supposed to be. Here are ours:

How's My Driving?
You mostly see this one on Mack or delivery trucks, but some parents are slapping them on the back of their kids' vehicles as well. Our question is, what's our standard here? Are we talking, would you pass Driver's Ed again? Have you not killed anyone yet? Did you refuse to oblige when we made the honking arm motion? (Has anyone actually ever called one of these phone numbers? We're dying to know what happened. Were you routed to a call center in India? Tell us in the comments.)

My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student
Here's what this bumper sticker is really saying: I'm a bad parent. I raise kids with anger management issues that stem from low self-esteem, and stunted social skills resulting from low levels of maternal care in the crucial early childhood years. I'm a bad role model, and drug and/or alcohol abuse may or may not make my already abysmal parenting skills even worse. But at least I get irony.

Someone I Love Was Murdered
We kid you not, we were behind this bumper sticker on the road the other day. We weren't exactly sure what our reaction was supposed to be. Sadness? Anger? Honking? Part of us wanted to wave them over to the side of the road and give them hug. Another part of us wanted a second bumper sticker with more details. Gunshot wound? Terrorist attack? Fire ants released through an air conditioning vent?

I Brake For Unicorns
Wha? Okay. What about hobbits?

Baby On Board
Normally we press our foot as HARD as possible on the accelerator until our engine starts to rev and overheat and our vehicle hurtles at insanely high speeds toward the car in front of us, hopefully pointing at the steel structure's weakest point to inflict maximum damage... until we see this signage. Then we think, "Oh, a baby! Well then."

Seen any good/bad/annoying bumper stickers lately?

Photo credit: Tabbymom Jen

Related post: Surviving Driver's Ed