Auntie SparkNotes: How to Flirt, Part We've Lost Count: Rejection 101

Stuff that Should Happen in 2010

By Contributor

January 14, 2010

This is MaggieGirl2013's very funny 2010 wish list. We had to leave off one of her wishes, that Pixar would buy Disney, because Disney actually bought Pixar back in 06! The other stuff, though, is totally coming true. —SparkNotes editors

These are the nine things that absolutely must happen for 2010 to be an epically awesome year Some of them aren't exactly, you know, possible, but they will happen anyway, because I happen to have a bit of pixie dust stored up on my desk:

9) Billy Ray Cyrus has an ultimate comeback tour complete with banjos, Tennessee accents, straw hats, and jet packs.

Come on, we all know Billy Ray secretly is a werewolf; look at all that hair! So that means his comeback tour will be AWESOME because jet packs will be there, and maybe at the table where they sell t-shirts, they'll sell sets of bow and arrows, too. Banjos will also be accepted into the arena.

8) The new show on Teen Nick, "Big Time Rush," will turn out to be a secret attempt at world domination. Prepare to be hypnotized by hockey sticks.

We all look at those slightly (slightly, I tell you!) attractive boys and their slightly hysterical show (I say SLIGHTLY) and know they are aliens trying to take over the earth. I fear for 12-year-old girls everywhere.

7) Jon and Kate Plus Eight will bow down to the Duggar family.

Ah yes, the Duggars. The family with 18 kids and counting. Jon and Kate, move over! This show, which is on like, PBS, will so become the ultimate pop culture icon!

6) Somebody will die on "Degrassi."

It will be Spinner. That would be hilarious. The lunch lady who hated him in season one will come to his funeral with food full of bugs and sob as she pours it into a dish for appetizers.

5) A book called Big Dipper will come out, a Twilight parodytold through the eyes of Emmett Cullen.

And it will be amazing. We can learn what the beast named Emmett does in his spare time.

4) Someone will invent a time machine.

And I can go back to April 14, 1912 and stop Jack Dawson from dying on the Titanic.

3) I will somehow obtain a jet pack.

See number ten.

2) Heath Ledger will turn out not to be dead; he will have only have taken a very long nap.

THE JOKER LIVES!!!!! All those nasty people who thought he was dead are wrong, they are all wrong!!!!!

And the number one thing that must happen to make this year perfect is...

drum roll please...

da da da da da....

da dum da dum dum da