Sparkler KoontzRocks was inspired by the recent post A Day in the Life of a Public School Kid, and wrote her own tale of life at an all-girls school. Enjoy! —Sparknotes editors
6:45 a.m. Owl City blares out of my phone alarm, yet I stay face down against my pillow, lift my arm up to my desk where the phone is located, and hit the snooze button.
6:50 a.m. My phone alarm erupts again, and I reluctantly shut it off, then head to the shower.
7 a.m. I pick up a polo shirt and ugly starched plaid skirt off the floor and put them on. I check the skirt to make sure it looks like this rather than this.
7:15 a.m. I consider packing an appetizing lunch in my awesome lunchbox, but decide to brave the school lunch food and pour myself a morning cup of coffee.
7:30 a.m. I glance at the clock and rush out to my car.
7:55 a.m. I’ve managed to hit every single red light on the way to school, and as I pull into the parking lot, I realize I forgot to do calculus homework, which luckily happens to be first period.
8 a.m.: Calculus. The class begins with a prayer. Next, my mind-numbing teacher, who has an unrecognizable accent, blathers on about differentials and derivatives. Most of the class copies down what is on the board without actually understanding what it means, and eventually falls asleep, only to be jerked awake when the teacher calls out the girl in the back row for a uniform violation, and sends her to the office. She was wearing a zip-up sweatshirt because the uniforms provided come with a sweater that does nothing but make you itchy and colder.
8:50 a.m.: Homeroom. We pray again, then say the Pledge of Allegiance. Announcements blare over the loudspeakers, but no one actually bothers listening.
9:10 a.m. Anatomy. Again, we pray. This class is taught by another teacher with an unrecognizable accent, I think possibly British. We attempt to convince her to let us watch House, but instead she teaches us about the digestive system, the duodenum, liver, pancreas, etc. All of the girls in the class discuss how the heck they are supposed to find a date to the next school dance, and how to find a dress that will fit the dress contract everyone signs.
10 a.m. Economics. Prayer starts off the class, which is usually one of the most interesting of the day. We’ve learned about balancing checkbooks, starting a business, getting a credit card, and even how this movie demonstrates economic cost/benefit analysis.
10:50 a.m. English. The fifth prayer of the day begins, followed by an in-depth analysis of a weird poem and this atrocious book. We spend far too much time analyzing one thing, but the class clown and student body president manage to get the teacher off topic, and she spends the rest of class talking about her college experiences.
11:40 a.m. Lunch! Now regretting my choice not to pack my own food, I head over to the lunch area and buy something that vaguely looks like a sandwich. The rest of the period is spent attempting to eat and gossiping with my friends at our table. The benefit of an all-girl school? Acting like a dinosaur and talking about bodily functions are routine occurrences. Additionally, when the occasional “Anyone have a tampon?” is yelled across the lunch patio, at least five people hold them up in the air. It’s a blessing.
12:25 p.m. Study Hall. This is a nice 45 minutes to do anything—sleep, eat surreptitiously so the librarian doesn’t yell at you, study for that test next period, or this.
1:15 p.m. Religion. Obviously, prayer starts this class off, and it’s unlikely any knowledge will actually be transmitted or retained today. Last month, we spent two weeks watching House episodes to talk about medical ethics and the death penalty, and we have recently been talking about sexual ethics—a very exciting topic for most of the student body, as this is a whole new and unusual thing.
2:05 p.m. Yearbook. This class is an extra elective at the end of the day, and here's how it works: Three to five people work on the computers in the back to produce the yearbook, while the other ten people sleep, do homework, or watch Youtube videos on the projector.
2:45 p.m. FREEDOM!!!
3:15 p.m. Home. Even though you think it must be the end of the day, it's not. Even though I need a nap or a snack, there is no time. Because no matter how fun this day might have sounded, we have a guaranteed five hours of homework... unless you are a slacker like me who knows how to talk her way out of missing work, and spends her days on SparkNotes, pretending to study.
Recap: Private Catholic all-girl schools are 50% hard work, 20% shenanigans, and 40% learning. Wait, that didn’t add up to 100%, did it?
Does this sound better than your school?
Related Post: A Day in the Life of a Public School Kid
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Topics: School
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