Pros and Cons of Opening Up Your Frozen Heart to the Ultimate Emo Kid

You were first intrigued by that emo guy/girl in your class when you saw his default Facebook picture, which highlights his awesome side-parted hair, apathetic facial expression, and cute non-prescription glasses. You struck up conversations in passing periods, lunch, and if you’re weird, in the bathroom. Since getting to know your emo, you’ve shared a lot: you’ve traded your thoughts on the indie music scene, swapped Chuck Taylors, and consulted each other when purchasing ironic tees from threadless.com during study hall. It’s obvious that it’s on between you and the emo. So the big question is: should you date? Consult our pros and cons of dating an emo before you take the plunge and get matching fingerstaches tattooed on your respective index fingers.

Pro: She enjoys shopping at thrift stores, so she’s a cheap date. All of her birthday and holiday presents will be awesomely inexpensive, while still appearing thoughtful.
Con: You know that fashion contentious quasi-conductor hat she always wears? You know why it smells like old vinegar and gives her dandruff? Because she bought it at the Salvation Army. Make sure she buys her headwear firsthand or you both might just get lice.

Pro: You love his style. It’s cute and quirky and kinda of Michael Cera-ish, but he’s not quite as awkward.
Con: He has the same cardigan sweater as you. And he looks better in it.

Pro: Your emo writes poetry. It’s really flattering when someone likes you enough to write a poem about you, your awesome hair, your contagious laugh, that unique dimple you have, and all that other stuff that makes you irreplaceable. Why wouldn't you want to date someone who records your relationship and cements all your memories in the form of poetry that you can save for the rest of your life? You’ll fill a box with it, reread it with your grandchildren, or, if nothing else, get a really good laugh at it 40 years from now.
Con: The poet can get all dark and stuff, especially if you're going through a rough patch in your relationship. See all those metaphors about scars, bleeding hearts, and broken glass? That's all about you, baby. Plus, the poetry is sure to end up on a personal blog, a message board, and perhaps as a song, if your emo’s band ever makes it big.Considered yourself warned!

Pro: You can steal his V-neck tees from American Apparel.
Cons: He thinks he is an American Appeal model and is currently in a vegan phase, not for the sake of animals or his ethics, but because it makes him super skinny. Plus, Jonathan Safran Foer just wrote a book called “Eating Animals," which your emo pretend he's read because it makes him seem more interesting.

Pro: She’s a photographer for the school newspaper.
Con: You can’t tell if her pictures are blurry because she’s a crappy photographer, or if she snapped those photos with an artistic intent you’re just too blind to see.

Pro: You’ll have a definite somebody to accompany you to any Death Cab for Cutie concert or Dashboard Confessional show. You’ll get to be that annoyingly cute couple that holds hands the whole time or sways butt to stomach to each and every song. Plus he’ll be down to go see any band with a cute semi-creative button he can add to the collection covering his messenger bag.
Con: He carries a messenger bag and he: A. doesn’t work for a courier service, B. is only carrying around a pack of gum and his copy of “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” and C. uses his bag to steal your favorite cardigans.

Pro: Your emo is super sensitive and always emoting. It’s adorable when he cries during a touching part of a movie you’re watching on the Sundance Channel. And you love that he totally trusts you enough to tell you about all the painful emotional baggage he’s always carrying in that messenger bag of his.
Con: Your emo is uber sensitive and is still not over the squabble you had about the origins of emo music, (she’s never heard of Rites of Spring? WTF) which ended up with you calling her a douche. You really better hope this doesn’t result in a poem, because it’s not going to be pretty.

Have you gone out with, or are you going out with, an emo kid?

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