Fact: The easiest, greasiest, happiest homemade lunch is the grilled cheese sandwich.
If you're not sure how to turn on a stove, and everything you put in the microwave gets burned, try the following. And don't think of this as a stodgy old recipe. Think of it as Secret Instructions for Better Munching:
(1) Find two pieces of bread. Not white bread. You're too old for white bread. Something wheatier. Ryer. Something with body to it, and maybe little seeds baked in. Now that's bread.
(2) Butter down a pan. You can use your fingers to drag the glob of butter across the stainless steel. It's cool. Nobody's looking.
(3) Put the pan on the burner and turn to "medium." This is the magic touch. The True Grilled Cheese is lightly browned, not toasted black.
(4) Pick your cheese. Plain ol' American will do. But so will any other cheese. Feel adventurous. Or at least French. Try mozzarella, or Swiss, or gouda. There are a zillion varieties. Raid the fridge for slices. Lay liberally over the bread.
(5) Butter two slices of bread on one side only. If you accidentally spread on both sides, no problem. (But seriously, that's a lot of butter).
(6) Put the buttered bread on the pan. IMPORTANT: The buttered sides of the bread should be facing out. So, one buttered side against the pan, one buttered side facing the ceiling, cheese in the middle. The cheese and butter should make no contact.
(7) Wait 'til the cheese starts to melt, and it's just sticky enough to hold the two slices together. Like some kind of delicious, calcium-enriched glue.
(8) Take your spatula and flip the sandwich. This should be fun. It's all in the wrist. When the buttered side hits the pan, it should make a satisfying sizzle. Smoke should puff around the edges. Feel free to press the bread down, so the sandwich hisses a little more. Man, doesn't that sound great?
(9) Patience is a virtue. But keep checking. Burn = Bad.
(10) Cut into two pieces. Just like Parent(s) would.
(11) Turn off stove!
P.S.: There is no limit to how much you can stuff into a grilled cheese. Pepperoni? Guacamole? Lemon pepper? Curry? Why not? As long as the cheese sticks it all together, you can add whatever's in the pantry. The grilled cheese was designed to tinker with.
Ever ruined a grilled cheese sandwich? How?
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