How to Change the Subject

Sparkler abby0912 seems to be well-versed in dealing with awkwardness. Kinda makes us wonder what awkward moments inspired her to become such an expert! —SparkNotes editors

When awkward situations occur, what should you do?:
A)   Laugh it off
B)  Do the “awkward turtle”
C)   Run away
D)  Change the subject

If you answered D, congratulations, you are sensible.

Changing the subject is perfect in almost all situations since it allows you to recover from whatever embarrassing setback you just encountered. Whether it be falling, saying the wrong thing, having some bodily function occur at the wrong time, etc., changing the subject will be a perfect way to survive. Here are some ways to do it:

The “Nevermind”
“Nevermind” is a great word that can make the person you are talking to completely forget about the slip up that just occurred. Directly after saying it, it is imperative that you begin talking about something interesting or important to deter the person from thinking about what you were saying before. (“I mean” is also an appropriate substitute.)
PAM: And that’s when Dan Bergstein came and saved me from…
KIM: Wait…what?
PAM: Oh, nevermind. Hey, did you hear that Dylan and Madison broke up? I heard he dumped her in a text.
KIM: !!!

The Weather
Don’t use this technique repeatedly. For best results, deploy it when there is a sudden change in the weather or something interesting going on, like a hurricane. If you aren’t near a window or door and there is no possible way you could know about the weather, employ another tactic.
HARRY: So (fidgets) do you want to go to wi—
CHO: Sorry, what? Oh! By the way, guess who just got asked to winter formal? ME!! Cedric asked me yesterday! (squeal)
HARRY: Really? That’s great!
CHO: What were you saying before?
HARRY: Oh my gosh, look at that! It’s snowing!

The Monologue
Use this sparingly or you will be nicknamed “The Mouth.” I don’t know that from experience… *looks away*
Anyway, rambling always helps to change the subject. Use interesting facts you learned, stories you heard, jokes you’ve always wanted to share, etc.
TED: What is that smell?
ROY: Um, I…
TED: Did you just release methane gas?
ROY: Oh my, did-you-know-that-yesterday-I-got-this-random-email-from-some-random-spammer-who-was-trying-to-sell-me-something-really-random-and-I-had-no-idea-what-to-do-so-I-just-deleted-it-actually-it-wasn’t-that-scary-just-really-random.
TED: Oh wow.

The Running Out of Time
This is a foolproof method if you get the intonation and movements just right. Act like there is something important you have to do, or somewhere you have to go. This makes the moment extremely less embarrassing.
RITA: Heyyyyy— (trips and falls)
JOE: Oh… um… (grin) Are you okay?
RITA: Yeah, fine, no listen… I have to go catch the Hogwarts Ex—
JOE: The what?
RITA: I mean, I have to find… where is Voldemort? I need to talk to him ASAP!
JOE: Oh okay, good luck finding her!

The Cough and Look
This is perfect for almost any embarrassing moment of your life. Coughing is the “once upon a time” prelude to subject-changing: It's universally accepted, it's as old as time, and it's super, super easy to do. After coughing and looking, remember to point out something else of interest to complete the subject change.
EDWARD: Bella?
BELLA: Yeah, Eddie?
EDWARD: I… don’t want to touch your face anymore.
BELLA: What?! Did you just say…
EDWARD: (cough) Look, my arm is sparkling!
BELLA: Oooh!!

I hope these techniques will make you an expert at surviving awkwardness. :) Once you've got it down, you can add it to the list on your SparkNotes profile!

Do you have any other suggestions for changing the subject?

Related Post: Awkward Moment? Keyboard Cat to the Rescue!

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