Auntie SparkNotes: To Booze, or Not to Booze

Dear Auntie Sparknotes,

I'm a senior in high school. When I was first starting high school, I promised myself that I wouldn't drink in high school. So far, so good! However, I'm starting to get my college acceptance letters, and I feel as if it's time to look back on this promise and see if it's something I'd like to continue through college. I don't really know how I feel about alcohol, because I've never actually had it before. It's not that I think people who drink are stupid or am morally against alcohol, it's just that a lot of people I know (friends, family, random people who I've met) messed up high school by drinking, and I want to go to a good college. How do I decide what's best for me in terms of drinking/not drinking?

Also, I get that underage drinking is illegal and wrong.

[Thud.]

Oh, excuse me, doves—Auntie SparkNotes just collapsed with shock at the maturity and intelligence of this letter-writer. If everyone approached alcohol consumption with an attitude like this, we wouldn't even need a drinking age.

Now, while I pick myself up off the floor, let's cover a few things:

Is underage drinking illegal in the U.S.? Yep. We all know this, so let's move on. So, leaving aside the "illegal" thing, is underage drinking wrong?

Eh.

This is a topic that's continually up for debate, and probably won't be resolved anytime soon. The United States makes a big fuss about alcohol, but a lot of other countries don't—some have no drinking age, some have a drinking age of 16 or 18, some regulate the purchase of alcohol by minors but don't worry about whether or not they're consuming it. In short, most governments assume that adults will know how to handle alcohol responsibly... and even in the U.S., the drinking age has fluctuated over the years in accordance with various social and cultural influences. For instance: your parents might have been legally able to drink at age 18, depending on how old they are now and where they grew up.

And if all that weren't confusing enough, here's another fact: Most states have laws that make underage drinking legal under certain circumstances. Here in New York, for example, a teenager can drink in private with the supervision of a parent or guardian. (So if your mom let you have a glass of wine at Thanksgiving, you can relax—the cops aren't coming to get you.)

Now, how should you approach the drinking question? In order to make an informed decision, your best bet is to find out how you feel about alcohol in practice, but without breaking a law. That means figuring out whether you live in one of the states that has “drinking with consent of a parent” exception, explaining the situation to your Mom and Dad, and satisfying your curiosity that way—say, by having a glass of champagne with your family on New Year's Eve. No harm, no foul. (Your parents might even be impressed by how maturely you're approaching this issue.)

If your parents won't go for that, then I'm obligated to point out again that any drinking you do will likely land you in illegal territory. But if you decide to go ahead, know that you're taking on a serious responsibility. Having a beer before age 21 doesn't necessarily sentence you to a life of debauchery, thievery, and waking up naked in the bushes with no memory of how you got there, but it does mean that you have to be adult enough to handle the risks, effects, and consequences. Not just because you can get in trouble with the police, but because responsible drinking takes self-control.

People drink alcohol because it makes them feel good, and for most of them, it never becomes a problem. But some people (like the ones you mentioned) let the lure of feeling good take precedence over responsibilities like school, work and family—and the results can be disastrous. So if you do start drinking, BE RESPONSIBLE. Don't drink until you pass out or vomit. Don't drink just because there's nothing else to do. Watch carefully to make sure you're not letting your schoolwork slip or making poor decisions while under the influence, don't allow anyone to pressure you to drink if you don't want to, and never turn to alcohol because you're looking for a way to cope with some other problem. (Hint: It won't help.)

And if you notice any of that happening?
STOP. You'll be better off waiting until you're 21, or not drinking at all.

Got feedback for our letter-writer? Leave your comments below! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at advice@sparknotes.com.