Sketchy Christmas Songs

This is one of our favorite ideas for a Christmas post this year! Awesome job, iluvfacetouching! —SparkNotes editors

Christmas songs have been playing since, hmm, October. And you have been singing along (admit it!). But, alas, underneath all of that Christmas cheer is dark, dangerous moral decay. Here are some Christmas songs that are more naughty than nice:

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” (Jackson 5 version)
This song involves a secret love affair between two married people. Still, it could almost be romantic, if it weren’t about your mom and Santa. [UPDATE: Misery_Business, you're totally right!!!!!]

And doesn’t your mama deserve better than a chubby old bearded man who works all year and has an addiction to cookies? There is also the issue of kissing imaginary figures. This is not Edward Cullen, people. Making out with mythical creatures is only allowed in Passions and The Lord of the Rings.

“What’s This,” by Danny Elfman
Is this song totally awesome? Yes. Do the lyrics truly capture the spirit of The Nightmare Before Christmas? Yes. But do you really want two-year-old carolers singing about severed heads? No. (I just answered for you.)

“Christmas Tree,” by Lady Gaga
Singing this song in the car next to your dad is uncomfortable. When he asks you to explain it, it gets even more uncomfortable. Due to the, ahem, sexual lyrics of this tune, it may not be appropriate for kids. Truthfully, it has nothing to do with Christmas; it's just an opportunity for Lady Gaga to make lots of dirty references.

“Mr. Grinch,” by Thurl Ravenscroft
A song full of insults, misery, and disgustingness.  “A brain full of spiders”? I had a nightmare like that once. It was in black and white, with Twilight Zone music…I don’t want to talk about it. How do you think the Grinch feels? Being called all these names? Have some feelings, people!

“Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” by Elmo and Patsy
This is terrible. And sad. Randy Brooks should have been sent to therapy for writing this song. Poor, poor Grandma!

We know there's more sketchy Christmas music...can you think of any?

Related Post: The Best Christmas Albums

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