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My Crush Is a Literary Character

My Crush Is a Literary Character

By Contributor

Sparklers have written about literary characters they'd love to meet, but a recent rash of posts about fictitious male crushes prompted wildegirl55 to add this post literary characters she'd love to date. Several Sparklers have commented that they'd like to read a post about the female fictional characters all you Manklers find fetching. Whaddya say, fellas? —SparkNotes editors

They aren't real. They'll never exist. No matter how much you pray to the Literary God (don't tell me that I'm the only one with a shrine!), you know that the object of your heart's desire will never hear the love poems and songs of praise that you've composed for him.

Then why do we keep falling for fictional men?

Oh, don't deny it! You've thought of helping Mr. Darcy out of those oh-so-tight breeches, haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU? We can't help it if those men on paper outdo the increasingly impolite, insincere, and ill-mannered males we have to deal with in real life, including pseudo-Edwards (controlling manipulators!).

Here is the list of fictional men I find especially drool-worthy:

Alec D'urberville—He really shouldn't be on this list. What he did to Tess was abominable and completely wrong. However, there still is this foolish side of me that says that someone might be able to change him. He did offer to help Tess in the end (although not necessarily for the right reasons). In any case, I couldn't help but cringe when I read the part where (spoiler!) Tess stabs him with a kitchen knife...that was a little uncalled for...

Jay Gatsby—Such a hard worker and so devoted, how could that idiot Daisy turn him down? Plus, all his sentences end with "old sport." What's not to love?

Sydney Carton—There really is something lovable about Sydney. I know that at times he is a bit emo, but let's face it, he does have reason to be. Besides, it's not every day that you meet lawyers who are more functional when they're drunk. Plus, he would do all your homework for you. I think we should all give Sydney a hug, decapitated or not...

Hamlet—The original emo kid. Hamlet really needs to lighten up, but anyone as bipolar as him kinda has an excuse. They way he treats Ophelia and bosses around Horatio is rather mean, but he's 100 percent genius.

Mercutio—We'd be best friends. And then some. 'Nuff said.

Gilbert Blythe—He's just so cute in this small-town boy kind of way. There's really no way that anyone could dislike Gilbert. Don't argue, it just cannot be done.

Lord Henry Wotton—I feel Wotton is criminally overlooked. The hedonistic protagonist/villain of The Picture of Dorian Gray is unbelievably interesting. There's something about the way his destructive nature influences so many of the people he meets. It is amazing and terrifying at the same time. And he's oh so witty as well.

Who's your fictional love?

Related Posts: My Crush is Dead, My Crush is a Cartoon

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Topics: Books
Tags: sparkler posts, relationships, dating, what if, literary characters

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