The School Commute

Much of human existence is spent traveling from Point A to Point B. Or, as is often the case in high school, trudging in the freezing rain from Point A to Point C, where you await a clunky, falling-apart bus with an ornery driver who will eventually take you to Point B, unless you arrived thirty seconds late, in which case you must return to Point A and argue about whether or not you need to start waking up earlier.

No one transportation method is really ideal, because even if you fly with a jetpack, you'll still end up at school. But some methods are certainly better than others:

1) Taking the bus
The school bus is pretty comparable to regular public transportation, which only 5 percent of the country uses because they hate it so much, except that there's no next bus if you miss the first one, and missing the bus will land you in trouble with at least one person, if not more. And you're using the bus to get to someplace you probably hate. So actually, come to think of it, forget the public transportation analogy. The school bus is basically a prison bus.

2) Walking
On one hand, being close enough to walk means you have a few more minutes of precious sleep than your peers do. On the other hand, you are at the mercy of horrible Nature, who attempts to murder you with cold in the winter, and makes you sweaty and bug-bitten in the summer.

Furthermore, you can never, ever complain about walking to school, because as soon as you do, an old person will insert himself into the conversation to berate you. One minute you're wishing you didn't have to walk in the snow, and then bam!, an old person is there, explaining how he walked twice as far to school, and worked in several steel mills along the way.

3) Being driven by someone
If you're being driven, it's probably by some vaguely responsible adult, like a parent or older sibling, or at least someone in a position to yell at you if you're late.

This option requires the least effort on your part; it's as easy as throwing your cold, sleepy self into a car and staying conscious enough to go "Mmmph" when you suspect you're being asked a direct question. If this is part of a usual arrangement, you're pretty lucky. If it's a solution to having missed the bus, whatever "Mmmph" noises you make had better sound apologetic.

4) Driving yourself
If all students are allowed to drive to school, this option loses some of its mystique. But if driving requires you to have a pass, or to work some other administrative magic, then this option is the ultimate status symbol. It doesn't matter if you drive an '81 Junkmobile with a flat tire and no hubcaps. It's a car. It's not a bus. Throughout your day, you will be surrounded by a faint aura of independence and responsibility. If that aura could talk, it would say, "Run along, guys, you don't want to miss your awful bus! I'll catch up to you later, after I drive home, in my actual car."

How do you get to school?

Related Post: The Real Magic School Bus...er Plane