Auntie SparkNotes: You're Hurting Nathaniel Hawthorne's Feelings

Sometimes, things can get pretty heavy around here, what with all the heartbreak and horrible friends and evil mom-sters who just don't understand. You know what we need? A letter full of win.

Oh, look. I've got one!

Dear Auntie Sparknotes,
I’m a member of the tv crew at my school who do weekly broadcasts. I’ve started doing segments where I summarize various books that people have to read in English class (not unlike blogging Twilight/scarlet letter). So far I’ve only done two. On the latest one, though most people seemed to like it, I got a lot of negative feedback from many of the English teachers at my school. They said it was too sarcastic and that I shouldn’t be so negative. The worst part is the tone they used, like that of lecturing a child who has done something really bad. The thing that bothers me about this is that on the first one I did, which is very similar in style and sense of humor, I got a lot of good feedback from everyone, even English teachers who teach that specific book. I don’t understand why they’re so upset over this one. I realise that what’s more important is to entertain the students, which I did, as far as I can tell, but it bothers me that the English teachers seem to think I’m doing this to feed my (mostly nonexistent) superiority complex. So what do I do? Disregard what the teachers say since they might just be over reacting, or stop/change my segment that seems to be well liked for the most part so that I don’t ‘hurt anyone’s feelings?’

Why is this awesome, you ask? Because our letter-writer was nice enough to let us show you the video in question! You can watch it here.

...And with apologies to easily-offended English teachers, it is frackin' hilarious.

The bad news is, I can't explain why The Teachers were so upset over this video, either. I mean... “hurting people's feelings”? Really? Really?! Whose feelings – Nathaniel Hawthorne's?

HE'S DEAD, Y'ALL. I'm pretty sure he doesn't care.

And while The Scarlet Letter is obviously an important book—we all read it in high school for a reason—that doesn't mean it's exempt from being lampooned. The teachers are upset that your video is “too negative,” but there's a big difference between you and, say, an illiterate, uselessly negative d-bag who goes on TV and says, “The Scarlet Letter sucks donkey butt!” You're making witty commentary about the book's weaknesses for contemporary readers, which shows that you've read and thought about it on a pretty in-depth level. The fact that you read it, thought about it, and concluded that certain parts of Hawthorne's work are unsubtle and extremely dated is your prerogative.

So, what should you do? Because the reaction of your teachers is pretty confusing, it might be helpful to find out a little bit more about it—just in case they have a legitimate gripe. Try talking to a friendly teacher (you've got one of those, right?) to see if he can shed any light on why people were upset by the video. But unless that conversation reveals something you hadn't considered, and unless making more videos will cause problems for you at school, go ahead and focus on entertaining the students—that's what your project is meant to do, after all.

And finally, one last thing: Auntie SparkNotes does not advocate mouthing off to teachers, but if an adult is being rude or condescending to you, you are allowed to politely ask them to stop. In the event that the offended teachers take you aside for another scolding, a calm, respectful, non-snappish response of, “Please don't talk to me that way; it's not necessary,” can work wonders.

Also, Dimmesdale? What a pansy.

Did you get a kick out of “Shannon Summarizes”? Tell us in the comments! Do you have a question for Auntie? Email her at advice@sparknotes.com.