Auntie SparkNotes: Eating Disorders and Penguins

Auntie,

I have something I was wanting to ask that I don't know if you can answer or not:

I have suffered from an eating disorder and am feeling that it is coming back again. I am a college student (and am 15--stressful) I know it is not right, but at the same time I have lost all appetite and I  gained a LOT of weight when I got hurt and they put me on medication for the pain and I was paralyzed so I was unable to walk, so I want to lose that again. It is so stressful as it is and I don't even want to tell my parents because I don't want to be in a hospital and I really don't want to leave school.  And I just want to lose weight, so I thought that if I just stopped eating for a couple months that I could lose it and look like I use to, but I don't know if this will put me into my old cycle. I will be going on a school trip so I don't want to get sick or too weak. What do you think I should do? I have no idea. I will do almost anything to lose this weight that I gained, but I'm not sure if this would do anything to me or not (well I guess I could take pills too)...

You see I exercise to my best ability, but with my surgery and recovery it was hard to be able to run as much.

Thanks!!

Auntie SparkNotes can't quite get over that chipper "Thanks!!" at the end of this very, very serious letter—it's like watching a World War II drama full of heartbreak and horror, and just when you think something really terrible is going to happen... an animated penguin runs across the screen.

But that's okay! It suggests you're keeping your spirits up.

First, good news: You already know you have a problem, and that's a really important first step. For people with disordered eating, a healthy relationship with food can be a lifetime challenge—it means that any time you're thinking about losing weight, you'll have to be extremely careful not to fall back into unhealthy behaviors like extreme calorie restriction or purging.

Now, the hard part: You have to tell your parents right away. Not so you can be hospitalized or taken out of school, but so you can get the support you need before things get worse. Please, please don't try to do this on your own. Sit down with your parents, and tell them EVERYTHING—that you're unhappy about the weight gain, that you feel you're losing control, that you need their help.

Again, telling your parents does not mean you'll go back to the hospital. By letting them know what's going on, you're actually showing that you're mature enough to handle this at home, without a grand-scale intervention. Plus, they can help you enlist the resources you need. You need experts to help you figure out if it's okay for you to try to lose weight and, if so, how you can do it safely (NOT by starving yourself or taking pills). You may want to talk to a nutritionist about an eating plan that won't interfere with your recovery, or try out low-impact exercises like swimming or cycling. Your most important goal is to get healthy again; focus on that, get the support you need from your parents and doctors, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Right now.

Seriously.
Now.
Step away from the computer and go talk to your parents.

...You'd better not still be sitting there.

P.S. Oh, and once you've talked to your parents, email me at advice@sparknotes.com and let me know how you're doing.

Got something to add? Leave your feedback in the comments, or send a question to Auntie at advice@sparknotes.com.