50 Things We Hate About Christmas

In the Dan Bergstein tradition of 50 Things, British Sparkler villanous_mwaha has come up with a funny list 50 things we wouldn't mind skipping this holiday season. —SparkNotes editors

Everyone loves a good ol’ bit-o-Christmas (unless the holiday coincides with a significant negative point in your timeline, like when your family fell apart, you found out your boyfriend is actually your long-lost brother, etc.), but there are some things about this time of joy that miff us off!

1. The freezing cold
2. The over-commercialization of EVERYTHING
3. Drunken relatives
4. Christmas being "family time," so you can’t see your friends
5. The present no one wanted in the grab bag, which inevitably ends up on your lap (with no trade-backs)
6. Burnt Christmas food (due to the embarrassing drunken relatives)
7. The year Santa decides you're too old for presents
8. The hassle of mailing Christmas cards
9. Forgetting to mail your Christmas cards
10. Making sure you write to everyone, then realizing you forgot to write to your best friend
11. The awful, AWFUL clichéd music, such as "Last Christmas I gave you my heart." God I hate that song…
12. The Eastenders Christmas special
13. The wet, depressing anti-climax of a snowball fight
14. Only being allowed to eat one advent chocolate per day
15. Having to buy presents for all your friends on a budget
16. The Boxing Day blues
17. "A Christmas Carol" and the annual pantomime being the ONLY things at your local theatre
18. Feeling disappointed when you don’t get a visit from the ghosts of Christmas past, present, or future
19. Accidentally bumping into the guy crushing on you under the mistletoe
20. People stumbling out of the pubs full of holiday "cheer." (Think about what that word rhymes with. Just think about it.)
21. Feeling envious of your younger siblings as they partake in innocent Christmas traditions you've unfortunately grown out of.
22. All that Christmas weight you vow to get rid of as your New Year's resolution
23. Strange, impractical presents from Santa (aka Father Christmas)
24. Receiving toothpaste from Father Christmas (yes, this actually happens to me)
25. All the coffee shops being too full to even consider entering while you are freezing your butt off outside
26. All your favorite TV being replaced with countless Christmas repeats
27. The girls who think it would be "cute" to dress up as Santa’s (sexy) little helpers
28. Realizing you fell asleep while waiting for Father Christmas
29. Being told you're not allowed to drink with your drunken relatives
30. Santa’s elves (I mean, how creepy are they?!)
31. Taking down the Christmas tree
32. When the Christmas tree fall on your three-year-old cousin
33. Those who don’t like Christmas raining on your parade (think Grinch)
34. Carol singers (Man, I hate those guys!)
35. Flicking over the news and getting really depressed about how crappy some peoples Christmases are
36. Getting snowed inside and isolated from the rest of the world
37. When the snow turns to slush
38. When there is no snow
39. When your school is stingy about snow days
40. When your teacher thinks calculus is more important than Christmas
41. Those teachers who take their enthusiasm WAY too far
42. When you get a boring sewing set while the person next to you gets, like, an iPhone
43. When you put up the Christmas lights and one bulb is out
44. When you have a birthday on Christmas
45. When a friend’s birthday is on Christmas
46. Having to leave food for Father Christmas
47. Having to be cheerful ALL THE TIME
48. Naturally waking up at 5 a.m. due to excitement, and then being exhausted all day
49. The people who try to take advantage of you by using the old "Come on, it’s Christmas!" line
50. If your family just doesn’t celebrate Christmas, your friends are unavailable, and you feel left out.

What do you hate about Christmas?

Related Post: The 4th of July is Better Than Christmas

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