Surviving Turkey Day Travel: De PLANE!

This is the final boarding call! Time to check your bags, put your seat back and tray table in their upright positions, and get ready to spend several hours hurtling through the air inside a pressurized metal tube full of irritable Thanksgiving-bound travelers! What, that doesn't sound like a recipe for fun?

Yeah, we know.

But before you retreat to the tiny, weird-smelling airplane bathroom to cry your way cross-country, try keeping things fun (and making it through security without a full-body cavity search) by following these handy tips:

Wear awesome socks. Sending your shoes through through the x-ray machine will be less of a hassle and a lot more fun when your feet look like they're on fire.

Pack wisely. You don't want to be the jerk who gets her entire family detained just 'cause you tried to bring your portable butcher's kit on board. Review the TSA guidelines here, and make sure all your liquids are in three-ounce containers.

Choose your vocabulary with care. Sure, you're not a terrorist...but your friendly airport security agents don't know that. Avoid talking—or even thinking—about anything that might arouse their suspicions, including: explosives, knife, biological warfare, terrorist plots, shoe bombs, or waffles. THERE'S NOTHING MORE SUSPICIOUS THAN A WAFFLE.

Make the best of delays. There's always a chance that your flight will be held up by inclement weather, heavy air traffic, or a naked man sprinting down the runway. (What? These things happen!) Enjoy any unforeseen time in the airport by using it for its intended purpose: people-watching. If you'll be there for awhile, compete with your family members to see who can spot the most unfortunate haircut on a fellow traveler. (Mullets always win.)

Prepare for the worst. There's always a chance that your flight will be smooth, seamless, and wholly uneventful... but there's also a chance that you'll spend three hours waiting for takeoff only to find that you are seated behind a gentleman afflicted with farts so terrible that they might actually bring down the entire plane. To that end, make sure you're armed with reading material, an iPod, a neck pillow, and a small container of scented lotion to dab beneath your nostrils in the event of flight-ruining flatulence.

And finally... eat everything. Whether it's peanuts, cookies, complementary beverages or full-scale gourmet meals, air travel is about getting your (or your parents') money's worth. If they offer you something, take it. Even if you don't want it, you may be able to barter with other desperate travelers later. (“You're hungry, huh? Well, I'll give you this one-ounce package of peanuts if you hook me up with that aisle seat.”)

Do you have an air-travel tip to share? Comments! Go!

Related post: Duct Tape and Horse Tranquilizers: Surviving Thanksgiving Car Travel