Is it True Love?

It's always the Sparklers with the most threatening nicknames who write the most sensitive posts. Nice work, villanous_mwaha! —SparkNotes editors

I understand that girls talk about love more than guys. I mean, you never really hear guys saying, “Yeah man! Dis is like, totally what love is. I love dis girl and I fink we're gonna go all da way bruv!”

But still, both guys and girls face the question, "Is my relationship with my SO really true love?" I am going to take you through five questions you should ask yourself to determine whether what you think is "love" is simply a glorified fling.

1. Do you just want this to be true love?
There is a difference between wanting what you have to be love because this person means everything to you and you want it to last forever, and because with this person you're happier than you have ever been—and wanting it to be love because you want those things in general, but not necessarily with this person.

2. How does your SO look at you?
Okay, I'm going to talk about my own boyfriend, and I hope it doesn't annoy you: Every time me and my boyfriend are alone, he looks at me in a certain way and it's all I can do to stop myself from laughing. Its sounds bad, I know, but he looks at me with what he must think is a "dreamy" look, but really he just kind of looks like he is on drugs. Nonetheless, I love the way he looks at me. He looks like he is enchanted, and that's exactly what I want him to feel because it makes me feel wanted.

Next time your SO is looking at you, see if s/he is wearing that goofy smile. Notice whether s/he is enjoying the sight of you. If this is the case, good for you. However, if s/he has a little crease in the brow, but not in a "Why does this person like me? She is so wonderful" way (more like an "Oh god, I'm not sure I'm ready for this, what do I do?!" way), maybe your relationship isn't what it should be.

3. Can you overlook his/her faults?
Everyone has faults, everyone has annoying habits, but a key part of a relationship is being able to see past this. He has an annoying laugh and laughs WAY too often, but you don't care, because he is everything you want and more. She has the dress sense of Mr. Blobby, but you don't care because her smile is more blinding to you than the sun itself. That's the sign of a relationship worth having.

If, however, you cannot put up with your SO's personality, then your relationship is probably doomed.

4. Can you trust your SO?
Everyone has moments of self-doubt and paranoia; it's natural. There will always be a point when you see your SO laughing, chatting, and giving a hug to an attractive friend and you think, “What if he prefers her? What if he leaves me to go spend the rest of his life with that hussy?!”

But the main thing is that you know what you don't want to happen won't happen. If you think your worst nightmare scenario has a chance of materializing, it needs to be discussed openly. I have a "friend group" that includes me, my boyfriend, and three other girls, and they are constantly all over him! But I just take a breath and tell myself they're are only doing it in jest and I should just ignore it, despite the fact that one of the girls is crushing on him, because I know that he will stay faithful to me, and I trust him. That is crucial, and if there is no trust, then there is no foundation for a relationship.

5. Is it mutual?
Does your SO respect you? Seriously, if you have a boyfriend who treats you awfully and refers to you as "his bird" or "arm candy," he has to go. If she goes out every night without you or piles all the responsibilities on you or you are generally unhappy with how things are going, don't convince yourself to stay!

It doesn't matter how much you've been through together. It doesn't matter if you have "loved" this guy since the moment you saw him. If your SO makes you unhappy, it's not true love!

Do you agree that these are the crucial questions? How do you know you've found true love?

Related Post: Romeo and Juliet: A Bad Relationship Model?

Wanna write for SparkLife? Send your submission and nickname to contribute@sparknotes.com for consideration.