What the....

To illustrate our posts, we use images from the bizarre and maddening site known as Shutterstock. Some of these pictures are so strange that when we editors stumble upon them, we email them to each other with subject lines such as "?!??!!!!!!!!!" "What the...." and "The people at shutterstock are on drugs."

We asked one of our favorite writers, Miss Kathryn Williams, to theorize about what the world is going on in one such confounding image. Here is her theory:

Scene: Gymboree. Two mothers sit next to each other, jostling babies in their lap. Both have strong Minnesota accents. It is 1998.

Mom #1: Oh my gosh, Barb, you will never believe what we did for our Christmas card this year.

Mom #2: Ooh, Sheila, tell me! Rick and I have been trying to figure out what to do for ours.

Mom #1: (still jostling) We put little Stevie in a wrapped box like a Christmas present with a Santa hat on his head!

Mom #2: Goshdarn, Sheila, that sounds hilarious!

Mom #1: It was! It was precious. Steve was on the walkaround with his boss from Kinko's and little Stevie kept reaching for the phone, so we gave it to him. It was like little Stevie was a miniature Santa Claus on a business call! We took a photo of that too!

Mom #2: Sheila, that sounds goshdarn hilarious. What was he holding with his other hand?

Mom #1: A mysterious red and white object.

Mom #2: Felix would never hold a mysterious red and white object. He'd probably just chew on it. (looks jealously at little Stevie)

Mom #1: Ya know, I can't believe I haven't seen more pictures of babies in Santa hats in gift boxes holding telephones and mysterious objects.

Mom #2: Ya know, that's strange. Goshdarn, I think the world needs more of those.

Mom #1: And ya know what I need, Barb? More money for Christmas gifts. Steve wants one of those mobile car phones.

Mom #2: Goshdarn, Sheila, I think I just had an idea. (still jostling baby.)

Mom #1: Dish, girl!

Mom #2: What if you sold your photo of little Stevie to a stock photo company?

Mom #1: (eyes brightening). Goshdarn, Barb, I think you've got something there!

Mom #2: You betcha I do.

End scene.

Note: No Minnesotans were harmed in the making of this post.

Is there ANY rational explanation for putting a baby in a gift box and making him hold a cordless phone from 1998???? You tell us.