The Writing on the Wall

Bathroom graffiti is a part of high school life, no matter what kind of school you go to. But you know you’re going to a really good school if the bathroom graffiti looks like this:

• I (heart) Romeo Montague!

• Geometry is for squares.

• I bench 100 pounds—of European History textbooks!

• Karen Helstrong does AP English!

• Hi, this is Lisa Whitcomb, your high school guidance counselor. If you’re feeling stressed and need to talk, I’m in room 117 next to the attendance office.

• Jared Pittsby is left-handed!

• Denise Fongrel: “Full-ride scholarship.” That’s not a joke, I actually got a full-ride scholarship. To Brown. Signed, Denise Fongrel.

• Si tu aimes le francais si plus, porquoi pas l’espouser?

• Hi kids, this is Lisa Whitcomb again, your school counselor. I just wanted to say to the guys, don’t worry, I never come into the men’s room during school hours. So you don’t need to worry about me lurking in the next stall! Okay? Girls, I come into your bathroom sometimes, but I don’t listen to your conversations, I swear! And if I accidentally hear something, my lips are sealed.

• For a pretty good time, call 777-FILM.

• E = mc2

• Ken Schmidt loves Moby Dick.

• A2 + B2 = C2.

• Hi guys, this is Ken Schmidt, and yes, I actually do love Moby Dick because it’s a really good book!!!

• Your dad is an investment banker!

• Actually my dad is an investment banker. So what? Isn’t everybody’s?

• Hi guys, this is Lisa Whitcomb again. I couldn’t help notice the conversation starting here about investment bankers. While it’s true that some of your fathers are investment bankers, a lot of them do other things, too, and that’s okay! Drop by anytime, room 117!

• Debate is hot.

• Nick Carraway should mind his own business!

• I (heart) the First Law of Thermodynamics!

• Julie Roswild eats organic hummus.

Got any more? Leave 'em in the comments!

Related Post: Check Out Your Handwriting