Sleeping During School: A Quick Guide

I've read or heard (or dreamed) that teenagers actually need more sleep than infants. It's hard to say if that's true—I don't remember much about being an infant, probably because I was asleep—but I do know that the high school schedule does NOT allow teens to catch many Z's. It's a hazard to your health, if you think about it.

The problem is, even if you're super tired, you never want to waste your precious free-time by going to bed early. So logically, if high school is what prevents you from being fully rested, then your administration owes you a few freebie naps every now and then. If not every day. Since this is school-mandated nap time is unlikely to happen, we've decided to create a quick sleepers guide to your classes, so that you can determine your best dozing opportunities. Sweet dreams!

History
Pros: History is all about wars, political competitions, and the occasional discovery/invention. So even if slept through the lecture on the Bolshevik Revolution, you can safely guess that one group fought against another group because they were unhappy with the way things were being done. And you would be right.

Cons: History is usually like a good story—so you might be napping through the most interesting part of your day.

Grade: A. Especially when you factor in the wealth of information you can find online, history is probably the safest bet for a midday snooze.

Math
Pros: This is often the day’s dullest subject; it practically begs you to sleep through it.

Cons: Math teachers constantly make eye contact and ask questions like, “Does that make sense?” and “Do I need to go over that again?” And just try answering a math question after you've been dozing off—you have a better shot at blowing up the Death Star than guessing a random number correctly.

Grade: F. As much as math makes you want to sleep, you're better off looking elsewhere.

Foreign languages
Pros: Sometimes your teacher will show a movie from Mexico or a documentary about Munich. The lights go down and so does your head.

Cons: Foreign language classes are more interactive that anything else, and it’s hard to get participation points for snoring.

Grade: D. Unless you can sleep talk in another language, don’t bother

Chemistry
Pros: Chemistry labs are usually pretty sizable, so it’s easy to grab a table (complete with sink and gas valve) toward the back and pass out.

Cons: If you sleep through too many lectures, studying for tests becomes a nightmare. Just try figuring out chemical laws, bonds, and reactions on your own. And your textbook isn't going to be much help—you need the teacher to translate.

Grade: D. Good for a snooze, but dangerous for your grades.

Health
Pros: You’ve seen MTV's 16 and Pregnant so you know about the importance of protection. As for healthy eating, you know that you’re supposed to eat more vegetables, not be a vegetable. You’ve heard this stuff a hundred times over.

Cons: Hmmm...offhand, nothing.

Grade: A+. Use health class to actually improve your health: Take a nap!

Biology
Pros: Whenever evolution comes up, the debate that ensues can quickly devolve into chaos. The teacher will hardly notice you catching up on your beauty rest.

Cons: It’s difficult to sleep in a room that smells like formaldehyde.

Grade: B. Occasionally conducive to sleeping.

Physical Education
Pros: If you somehow manage to hide under the bleachers and grab a few Z’s, you’re not missing much.

Cons: It’s generally difficult to fall asleep while jogging a mile or doing sit-ups. And probably dangerous.

Grade: F. You don’t usually have the option in this case.

Physics
Pros: There are usually a handful of students truly interested in physics. They can keep the teacher distracted if you’re drowsy.

Cons: Like chemistry, if you sleep through too much of physics, it’s gonna be pretty clear on your test scores.

Grade: D. Doze at your own risk.

English
Pros: If you miss what the teacher says about Moby-Dick, there’s this website that rhymes with “lark coats” that has your back.

Cons: Every English period, the teacher dishes out a tough questions that stump the class. As the teacher scans the roomful of silent students, chances are she'll zero in on you.

Grade: C. Not bad for a few thirty-second catnaps, but you’re not likely to get a real rest in.

Are you a class-time dozer? What classes do you think are the best for sneaking a nap?

Related Post: Sleep in Class (Without Getting Caught)