Yesterday, we posted about a girl whose senior photo was banned from her high school yearbook because she had chosen to pose in—gasp!—a tuxedo. And your comments on that post confirm what we suspected: anti-gender-bending dress code rules are ridiculous.
Not only did nobody write in to say that the sight of a tux-wearing girl in their yearbook would make them physically incapable of learning, but plenty of people weighed in on the substantial wrongness of school administrators playing fashion police. Several commenters pointed out that dress codes are pretty unevenly designed: a girl wearing a tux, or a boy wearing a skirt, are deemed “distractions”...but somebody who piles on the makeup or wears neon, zebra print, polyester pants is just fine. (Or, in the case of our high school, the victims get blamed: One year, an obnoxious guy snuck up behind a girl wearing a tank top and snipped the straps with a pair of scissors. The school's reaction? Banning tank tops. Because apparently, expecting people not to go after their classmates' clothing with scissors is just too much to ask. Not that we're still mad about that, or anything.)
But while we've pretty much determined that dress codes are a bunch of hooey, schools will tell you that they need some sort of ground rules to keep everyone from just showing up naked. So, to help out, we've created the SparkNotes-approved dress code, ready for adoption by anyone who wants it!
Rule #1: No visible nipples. Guy, girl, dog, it doesn't matter what you are; nobody really needs to see your nipples at school. Unless you're swimming. Or in the locker room. Or doing a performance art piece that involves dressing up as the Spirit of Justice. Okay, you can show your nipples sometimes.
Rule #2: No hair shirts. Some people are allergic to hair. While we're at it, no shirts made of peanut butter, either.
Rule #3: No animal-print pleather pants in neon shades of pink, green, or yellow. Not because they're a distraction, but because they are a crime against humanity. In fact, anyone who wears animal-print pleather pants will skip detention and go straight to jail. In China.
Rule #4: No Richard Nixon masks. If you feel that you must wear a mask to school, Ronald Reagan, Barack Obama, and Frankenstein are all approved options. But NO NIXON.
Rule #5: No bear suits. Bears are scary!
Do you have something to add to our awesome dress code? Tell us in the comments!
Topics: School
Tags: dress code, uniforms
Post a comment!