What’s the worst grade you’ve ever gotten? Did that grade ruin your life? Well, after you read our handy guide to grade rationalization, grades will never ruin your life again.
A+ This grade requires no rationalization. You simply cannot do any better, so go about your day and bask in your victory.
A You don’t need an A+, because getting an A+ is like being a celebrity and going out without a hat and sunglasses. You are going to get harassed and mobbed by the grade paparazzi. Getting just a plain A, however, is like being Cameron Diaz in a dark-haired phase. You’re still Cameron Diaz, but people are going to leave you alone about it. Ahh, now doesn’t that feel good?
A- Getting an A- can feel like finding a hair in your steak. You may feel shame, disgust, disappointment, or all three. And yet, is it really your fault? Think about this instead: when you get a hair in your steak, what’s going on back in the kitchen? Does someone have a problem with you? Where have the hair nets disappeared to, and why?
B+ Okay, so you missed getting an A by a few points. Don’t feel too bad about it. The difference between an A- and a B+ is like the difference between a perfectly fine Subaru Forester and a brand new Ferrari with a big scratch on the side of it. B is for "blessing," which is what this grade is.
B B is also for "boo-ya," which is one word you tend to utter when you’re having a lot of fun, which is probably what you were doing while those A and B+ students were locked in their chambers, drilling facts into their heads. B is for "beach"; B is for "bungee jumping"; B is for "backyard barbecue." In other words, B is not so "bad."
B- Getting a B- is just like getting a B, except that you get more sleep in the process. Sleep is good for your health. It reduces anxiety and boosts your immune system and gives you energy and stamina and focus. So if you think about it, maybe getting a B- is even better than getting a B.
C+ Hey, you’re still above average, and that’s more than most people can say. Good job! Keep up the good work!
C The good news is that you are completely free of narcissism and free-floating grandiosity. Your parents likely raised you right, and you can feel good about that.
C- You’ve got a lot of other things on your mind besides school, because you’re a dreamer, a visionary, and an artist. So studying wasn’t your thing this week—at least you know who you are, which is a lot more than most of these other grade-getters can say. You’re on a path of your own choosing. Good for you.
D+ You passed, and got a plus next to your grade! Nice work.
D You’re more of a big-picture person, and the world needs that. Let someone else be the detail-oriented one who scrubs the shower grout with a toothbrush. In time, you’ll be the person who stands back and says, “What if we installed a cement shower, where there is no grout to clean?”
D- You squeaked through the door, and ultimately, that’s what matters. Think about the gates of heaven: As long as you get in, does it matter if you were the first in line or the last?
F+ Sure, maybe you failed this one, but you still have a terrific personality. And hey, a plus is a plus, no matter what grade it follows.
F You’re a straight shooter. You don’t need to mess things up with pluses and minuses. If you fail, you fail, plain and simple. You’re a truth-teller and tough as nails, and there is a need for people like you, there really is. You might want to start thinking about Congress or Wall Street.
F- You are not afraid to fail, and that’s a good thing. Think of this grade as a badge of honor, a harrowing story you will have to tell your friends far into your twilight years. This is your purple heart of high school. Wear it well.
Do you feel better now?
Related Post: The Three Types of C Students
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