Students You Love to Hate
Sparkler allcatscarecrazy has been reading SparkLife for months, but has only recently created an account (and written this funny post). Makes us wonder how many nickname-less Sparklers are out there. If you're a secret Sparkler, sign up and join the convo! We just love Sparkler newbies. **rubs hands together creepily** Mwhahahaha! —SparkNotes editors
You know those anger-inducing students you seriously consider throwing your textbook at, but your teacher looks at them (for annoyingly obvious or inexplicable reasons) like they might be the second coming? Every school has them, and there’s no way to avoid them...legally. Here they are, the students I love to hate:
The Prima-Diva
These are people who are really good singers, but you wish they weren’t. I’m not talking about your friend who writes songs in her spare time. No, these people (generally female and annoyingly soprano) sing everything. You could be sitting in math and they’ll start belting out a few tunes from Guys and Dolls, or you’ll be trying to open your locker when they decide to sing the best of Taylor Swift as they gingerly prance down the halls. If you haven’t yet met someone like this, don’t worry. You’ll notice them soon enough…that is, if you aren't a Prima-Diva yourself.
The Cake Face
The typical Cake Face generally wears skimpy skirts and sport the worst, overdone makeup job you’ve ever witnessed. Makeup in high school is perfectly normal. But when your foundation is so caked on that your face is orange and your neck is pale, and it appears an eyeliner/mascara grenade exploded all over your face, you’ve done something wrong. And the day when you wake up late and come to school with no makeup on at all, no one will no how to act around you.
The Student Teacher
No, not the college students who come to teach for a few weeks—at least we understand their motives. The students I'm talking about think they know everything about everything, and are constantly correcting the teachers. These students say things like, “Sir, that’s not actually how you pronounce 'contrition,' you need to put less emphasis on the ‘t’ sound, also you misspelled 'osteoporosis'.” If you're one of these students, you'll know by the collective groan from everyone in the room—including the actual student teacher.
The Intentionally Stupid Sheep Student
These people usually run in packs and their main fears include going to the bathroom without an escort and realizing that no one finds them endearing anymore. Once you hit a certain age, saying, "Umm…I don’t get it," is not cute. If a teacher asks you who the Allied Powers were and you respond with, ‘Do you mean like Batman?'” the rest of us don’t think it's adorable.
The I’m-funny-right? RIGHT? RIGHT? Student
Whenever someone says something that gets the giggle party going during class, this cheeky guy decides to cash in on it. The rest of us have a message for you: Stop. If you’re really that desperate to get laughs, get your Google on and search up jokes before each class so people start laughing with you for a change.
The I’ve-Been-to-Jail-and-I-Liked-it Guy
You know that guy who just happens to burn holes in tables and chairs, and when people start smelling smoke they're too scared to ask him stop? Yeah, this type of student eats fear for breakfast, happiness for lunch, and then more fear for dinner. You want to approach him for whatever reason, but when you get close and realize he’s licking knives and cleaning his flame-thrower, you decide the best time to talk to him isn't now, it's never. (And no, this type doesn’t have a heart of gold underneath the tough exterior, just the desire to eat spiders.) Sweet Jesus, these people are freaky.
Any other students you love to hate?
Related Post: Non-Friends Forever
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