Blogging To Kill a Mockingbird: Chapter 1

First things first: Yes, I will now be blogging To Kill a Mockingbird. No, I will not be making fun of this classic book. I will be making jokes about the plot and asking stupid questions about the events but I will not, I repeat, not make fun of this classic work of literature that I genuinely like. (Please put your hammers down now.)

A few notes: If you came to this page because you are having trouble sleeping due to an annoying bird outside your bedroom window, you should know that this book is not about how to kill a mockingbird.

Also, this book is not a biography of the rapper 2 Killa Mockingbird. This would be impossible because I just made that person up.

This is a novel by Harper Lee. Set in a small Southern town and told from the perspective of a young girl, it deals with issues as weighty as childhood innocence, racial prejudice, and human nature.

Part One – Chapter One

The narrator of the book introduces herself. Her name is Jean Louise Finch, but everybody calls her Scout. The origin of this nickname is never explained, but I have to imagine she got it because she loves Girl Scout cookies. It’s really the only logical explanation. Scout is going to tell us about how her older brother Jem broke his arm a few years ago, but first she’s going to tell us the full lineage of her family.

The first Finch to come to America (by which I mean “person with the last name Finch,” not the bird kind of finch. Miss Marm would’ve killed me if I'd capitalized that) was a guy by the name of Simon Finch who left England and created a farm off the Alabama River. The first Finch to move away from the farm was Scout’s dad, Atticus Finch, who is a lawyer in the town of Maycomb (where the book takes place. Stay with me.).

Atticus lives with his two children and their cook, Calpurnia, an older black woman. Scout and Jem’s mother died years ago. Scout doesn’t remember her at all, but Jem has memories of her that sometimes makes him upset.

Ordinarily I wouldn't comment at a moment like this, because it’s sad. But Scout tells us that when Jem thinks about his mom he will “sigh at length” and then go off “by himself behind the car-house,” and I can't help pointing out that “car-house” is an awesome word for garage. I think I’m going to refer to every room in my apartment as a “something-house.” Living room becomes “TV-house,” bathroom becomes “toilet-house,” but I’m still going to call the kitchen my “yum-yum-fortress,” because why fix what’s not broken?

Scout begins to tell us about one summer when a boy named Charles Baker Harris moved in next door. He introduces himself to the Finches and tells them to call him by his nickname, “Dill.” Once again, the nickname's genesis is not explained, but I'm betting Dill is known for overseasoning tuna fish with this particular spice.

The three kids play together all summer. Dill gets obsessed with Boo Radley, a mysterious neighbor, and suggest that they try to get him out of his house. Boo lives in a run-down building. Scout has heard that when he was a boy, he got in trouble with the law, and as punishment, his father kept him locked away. So just keep that in mind next time you want to leave the house with a skirt that short, young lady (this last sentence was sponsored by your mom. Your mom: giving you advice on your attire since she gave birth to you).

Dill does his best to get the Finch kids to help him on his quest. He dares Jem to run over and touch the house. Jem does it and nothing much happens—although Scout thinks she sees a shutter move slightly.

And so, with this simple act of trespassing, Scout, Jem, and Dill began a reign of terror the likes of which Maycomb County had never seen before. (Not true at all, but I felt like this chapter ended on a bit of a dull note, so I spiced it up a little.)