If you're like us, you have no trouble drifting into a sound slumber on most nights (and, if you're like us, you never snore. Not ever. No matter what anyone else says.). But occasionally, the sandman takes the night off, leaving you wide-eyed and wondering how you'll possibly function the next day. Ah, dreaded insomnia. And like that 5-dollar foot-long jingle from Subway, the more you try to fight it, the stronger and more insistent it becomes. After many long, sleepless nights, we've devised the following strategies to help you combat—or at least tolerate—insomnia:
Read: This one's a no-brainer, and we're sure you've heard it plenty of times. But the key is finding the right reading material to lull you back to lullaby land. Picking up where you left off with your favorite classic novel will only intensify your literature craving. You'll be so enthralled that your mind will never quiet down enough to let you fall asleep. The key is to find something suitably boring. The fine print about copyrights and publishing stuff, usually found on the first couple pages of any textbook, is pretty lame. And the ingredients list on any bathroom item—shampoo, toothpaste—is really a bore. But our personal favorite is the dictionary: abolitionism, abomasum, abominable, asleep.
Whine: You're feeling pretty terrible by the time the clock reads 4:17 a.m. You're exhausted, your mind is racing, and all you can think about is the next day at school, when you'll be doing that pathetic head-bob thing. Your frustration is keeping you awake, and your only hope is to exhaust yourself by engaging in an intense, all-out hissy fit. After twenty minutes of this-is-the-worst-thing-ever-and-I-want-to-cry whining, your negative energy will simply ooze out of your body. Before you know it, you'll be out cold.
Try to remember something: Quick, name all seven dwarfs! Sneezy, Happy, Doc, uh... uh... This technique is similar to the one used by anesthesiologists, who ask you to count backwards from ten. (We've never made it past seven.) Keep working at some feat of memory, and soon you'll be snoring like Snow White—oh yeah, she absolutely snores.
Infect someone else: It's a medically proven fact that certain viruses can be passed from one person to another. Insomnia is sort of like a virus, and you can definitely pass it on to someone else. Start sending text messages to all your friends that say, "r u up?" Pretty soon, you'll find yourself engaged in an exhausting exchange that will have you tired out in no time. Your friends, who are now wide awake, won't be so lucky.
Give up: Sometimes, a little reverse psychology is all it takes to get your body back on its circadian-track. Get up, take a shower, make yourself some breakfast, and start reviewing your notes for school. This routine will set off the automatic snooze alarm in your mind and soon you'll be crawling back into bed. And you'll get to sleep a little later, since you'll be dressed and all ready to go!
Do you ever get insomnia? What do you do when you can't sleep?
Related Post: Enter the Mind of an Insomniac
By: Katie_Rolnick
Topics: Life
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