What Kind of Candy-Eater Are You?

What Kind of Candy-Eater Are You?

Sparkler hannakathryn breaks down post-Halloween eating rituals in this fantastic post. But we wonder, what type of eater are YOU, hannakathryn? —SparkNotes editors

So, it's the first weekday after Halloween, and you're probably exhausted from staying out too late trick-or-treating and hanging out with friends all weekend. Halloween was insanely fun, of course, and now you have a bag full of delicious candy, simply waiting to fatten you up. However, every person is different about her candy:

The Hoarder:
You like candy, maybe a little too much. You promise yourself that you're going to make this stuff last until next year, even if it kills you. You count your candy every morning and surround it with an army of house-elves (or, okay, stuffed animals) to protect it from little brothers. You may not get to enjoy the candy, but heck, if you can't, no one else will either.

The Gobbler:
No need to count your candy, trade it, or even put it in a bag. Trick-or-treating went like this:
Gobbler: Trick-or-Treat!
Adult: Oh! Definitely treat! I wouldn't want to be tricked! He he he!!!
Gobbler: HA HA! Funny.
Adult: Where did your candy go?
Gobbler: My belly!

By the end of the night, you're stealing your friends' candy, and feeling kind of sad that you didn't save your own. Better luck next year, friend.

The Organizer:
When you got home Saturday night, you placed every piece of candy into its appropriate bowl, with labels, pictures of the candy, and a list of other types of candies that you'd be willing to trade it for. You calculate how long you can make the candy last if you eat three pieces a day, and then you make a calender for which candy you'll eat on which day at what time. If you long to stray from your perfectly organized calender, you brutally beat yourself with a wet noodle and tell yourself, "Stick to the schedule, man! Stick to it!"

The Moocher:
You decided not to go trick-or-treating this year, but you still like candy. Therefore, you offer to help your younger siblings with their mountain of treats. They protest, but then you explain to them how too much candy can make you grow large tumors on your nose, which can only be cured with heaping amounts of broccoli.

Any of these types ring a bell?

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Related Post: Eat a Bucket of Kale (and Other Tips for Halloween Recovery)

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