10 Reasons Being in High School Doesn’t Suck

1. Guaranteed free time in the form of off-periods or study hall. You will never, ever have guaranteed free time again, so cherish every precious, miserable second.

2. Sexy vampires. They go to high school. Ergo, high school is a great place to start a doomed love affair with a sexy vampire.
3. Backpacks on wheels. Enough said.

4. Those half-baked/half-raw cookies the cafeteria serves. Sure, they may give you Salmonella poisoning, but you will die a happy man.

5. Built-in vacations for EVERY season. See #1 if you require further explanation on the non-suckiness of guaranteed free time.

6. Cuties in football uniforms. Cuties in lacrosse uniforms. Cuties in Mathlete uniforms. Need we go on?

7. Your driver’s license. Or, as that hairy guy from Braveheart would say, “FREEDOM!!!!”

8. That feeling you get when you score 100 percent on an AP Bio test. It may have been curved 40 points, but NASA would still be darn lucky to have you.

9. Extremely un-thorough and partially fabricated reports confirm that celebrities and notable humanitarians such as the guy who invented the robot dance, Gumby, the King of Norway, Sacajawea, the Hamburglar, Fidel Castro, Aladdin, and at least three of the Backstreet Boys once went to high school. So you’re in good company.

10. SparkLife is all about high school, all of the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 267 days a year. Would we waste our lives away writing about something that sucked?

That was a rhetorical question.

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