Top 5 Characters One Sparkler Wants to Meet

Liz_Nash works on like 18 different levels when she writes a Sparkler post. She's witty, literary, and she uses tons of links for added humor, irony, and finger exercises. There's so much going on in every Liz_Nash post, we suggest you read 'em twice! —SparkNotes editors

Some authors have the ability to create characters who seem to walk right off the page—but what if they actually could? While daydreaming in science class, I couldn’t help but think of what I’d say to some of the characters from popular novels. Would I cast myself at their feet and hope to soak up some of their awesomeness? Or would I just want to give them a piece of my mind?

I decided I'd most like to meet the following five characters:

5. Juliet (Romeo and Juliet)

Admit it: Juliet deserves a punch in the face. She’s not even fourteen, yet she’s gallivanting around with Romeo. For that reason, I’ve never been able to connect with her–although, if she talked in plain English, it would help our relationship. But really, I’ve never understood why so many girls talk of how they want to be like Juliet, since (spoiler alert!) she dies.

4. Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)
The following is my dream conversation with Mr. Darcy:

Me: Why, hello, Mr. Darcy! What a fine evening it is!
Mr. Darcy: Miss Nash, I will admit that I have desired your affections since the day I was born. Will you be my wife?
The Future Mrs. Darcy: Of course, Darcy, my one truest love!

Basically, I would love to meet Mr. Darcy so that he could propose to me. I also assume that since I share Elizabeth Bennett's first name, she would share Mr. Darcy with me. My logic is infallible, no?

3. Seamus Finnigan (Harry Potter)

Only recently have I learned Seamus is pronounced SHAY-mus instead of SEA-mus. I would love to meet Seamus just to see what other secrets he has up his sleeve. (The next thing he’s going to tell me is that “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo” is a grammatically correct sentence! Hahaha, right!)

Seamus is also that character you want to know more of. We know he’s Irish and that he has a tendency to burn his eyebrows off, but there’s still plenty we don’t know about him. How does he style his hair? Does he survive the final book? Is he single?

2. Voldemort (Harry Potter)

Voldemort may be one of the best literary villains of all time (and when he was younger, probably one of the more attractive). Meeting him would provide an opportunity to ask some of my burning questions, such as “How does the snot come out of your nose?” and “Did you really have to kill Robert Pattinson?”

Meeting Voldemort would also provide an excellent opportunity to try out the tips from all of those how-to-annoy-Voldemort guides I’ve kept taped up in my room since the second grade. Who wouldn’t want to ask the Dark Lord to do the polka?

1. Jacob Black (Twilight)

I want to meet Jacob Black for the sole purpose of seeing those rock-solid abs in person. Enough said.

So, Sparklers, whom would you like to meet?

Wanna write for SparkLife? We're up to our halos/devil horns/trucker hats in Halloween posts, so send your non-Halloween-related post to contribute@sparknotes.com for consideration!

Related Post: What’s on Holden Caulfield’s iPod?