From amazing teachers, to haikus, to...ermmmm ohyahknow...*cough cough* sex education stories *cough whimper,* you Sparklers gave us plenty to choose from for this week's Friday Awards. Let's get started, shall we?
Major ALOL Points go to...
I think the funniest (in a scary way) sex ed class I had was the first one, in 4th grade. Our teacher (who once threw a chair at a student, not kidding) made us draw what we thought we'd look like in ten years. When she asked us about what was different, nobody mentioned, ahem, the enlargement of certain parts of the chest, and she got soo mad. Her face turned red and she yelled, "What about cleavage?!?!?" Yep, that really broke the ice.
One free period, my friends and I were talking. We somehow ended up talking about sex, and since there were 2 girls and 3 boys, noone said it and we referred to sex as the s-word till the end when one of us burst out with wait, how does that have to do with strippers? Turns out everyone else thought we were talking about strippers too. Do i have a sick mind, or are my friends just prude?
My Sex Ed teacher was the football coach, giving him a 'hands-on' approach to the lesson plan.
Literally.
First he made us draw our opposite sexual reproduction system on a sheet of paper. Then a lucky few, my best friend and I, got to draw our masterpieces on the chalkboard. Her's was incredibly detailed.. with hair.. Mine was a stick-figure with the bottom half circled.
Oh, and you think that's the worst of it.
But you sir, are wrong.
The next day, dildos.
Oh yea.
One time in my sex ed class a girl asked how many calories were in sperm. >_>
My school is so weird.
^ The scariest part is that the teacher actually knew the answer!
on a related note, to andallthatstuff for...
In my health class we had a question box and the two most commonly asked questions were "How many calories are in sperm?" and "How do girls get tampons out? do they use pliers?"
A guy in my class thought that girls couldn't poop. I mean seriously?
This health teacher at my old school would talk about Hannah(or "Handa" the girl who was always always there when you needed her. Eww.
I(thank goodness) won't have to take that turture chamber of a class again unless I choose to(which i won't). In our class there was one day when the highschoolers came to talk to us about the preasures of sex. We had to practice saying no to sex. Someone had to be the one who said no and SOMEONE HAD TO ASK! IHAD TO ASK! It was absolutely horryfying and the guy i had to ask was sort of a weirdy.
In middle school we were given a talk and we watched a video. In the video, the female reproductive system was modeled in....pancakes. The mom poured the batter in the shape of a uterus and ovaries. Even now, years later, when my mom makes pancakes, she'll look at me with a wicked grin and ask "Should I make *creative* pancakes?"
and finally to Alice1292 for...
There's this one kid in my class, and there are two things about him that are really funny;
1. He used to think Oral sex meant talking about it
2. He asked, "If a guy ejaculates into a girl's mouth, will she get pregnant?" (No joke - that was the question)
Now that your SparkNotes editors have turned bright red and splotchy...
Awesome Teacher Story Awards go to...
Freshmen year my Chem teacher spoke really softly and just lectured for hours. I never slept as well in bed as I did with my head resting on my lab table in that class. I miss him. He was adorable and looked like a panda.
My AP Physics teacher rigged a very high pitched alarm that goes off whenever he points his laser pointer at it... which he does all the time because everyone falls asleep in my physics class. Full out asleep. And man, does it make you jump...
Seriously, he is amazing. Instead of lecturing us about Great Expectations, he pretends to be the troll from the Hobbit. FAnd he says he's going to get a pet parrot. : D
to kaechick134 for...
My biology teacher was the craziest. She was just like, obsessed with light sabers, and had a bunch of pets, and was just like...weird! She had a tarantula and it like shed its skin once or something, and she would put that skin on kids who fell asleep. I didn't know a football player could scream that high pitched......
Yesterday he did this demonstration for us called the Lycopodium dragon. He shows it in Chem 1 but decided to show my Adv. Inorganics class just for the fun of it. Let me tell you, it is the AWESOMEST THING EVER! Basically he puts Lycopodium (flammable powder) in this bottle that shoots in a stream, takes out this cardboard box he painted and added eyes to so it looks like a dragon, and shoots the lycopodium through the mouth hole and through a bunsen burner which causes a HUGE flame. And he moves the head and makes realistic dragon noises. It seriously causes these giant flames that looks like something a real dragon (yes, they're out there, just ask Harry Potter) would make!!! He is my favorite!!!
and to DrHorriblesClone for...
I have the world's awesomest teacher. Here's proof: I'm typing this comment from his class, where I am the teacher's aide & where he lets me browse Sparklife from his computer when I have no work to do.
The Good Samaritan Award goes to princesst22 for...
Here's a simple solution-volunteer to take some kids trick or treating.
This year I'm going to go trick or treating, but not for candy. Me and my friends are going to ask for a can of food to donate to the local food bank. Still get to dress up, and go door to door, without getting in trouble!
Nickname of the Week goes to rebel_of_nowhere.
You Just Made My Breakfast Award goes to Vandude for...
mmmmm you know what is a really good alternate breakfast? take leftover pizza and chop it up into little pieces and add it to your scrambled eggs yum! or even better...try eating lunch or dinner for breakfast, that is a surefire way to mix up your breakfast routine
And a few Haiku Awards go to
Shakespeare Haiku
This is really confusing
Bated breath anyone?!?
I'll just go on sparknotes.
"The Username Haiku"
now_what is peace
on earth and all that stuff can
be pulling puzzles
to vachina09 for...
too much booty in
the pants dance too much booty
in the pants dance dance
Awesome Halloween Costume Award goes to laffs2much for...
mi frends and i r being the seven deadly sins
btw im being jealousy
Your Mom's Costumes Are Awesome Award goes to potterlover19 for...
My mom likes to dress up as things that are a play on words. Like a cereal killer (she had a black leotard things with bloody cereal boxes all over it) or she was a blind spot (a dog with a collar that said spot and a walking/blind person cane)
Happy Weekend, Sparklers!
Topics: Digital
Tags: friday awards
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