Tips for Meeting New People

Sparkler TheRightToDream has some inspiring words for those who feel lost at a new school. Enjoy! —SparkNotes Editors

My younger brother became inexplicably nervous the night before his first day of high school. He made sure that everything was in his binders and his backpack. Once. Twice. Again.

He was a nervous wreck. No matter how hard he tried, his locker combination wasn't sticking. He couldn't remember where his classes were. He started bombarding me with questions and asked what he should and shouldn't do in high school. He was talking so quickly I thought his head would spontaneously combust. When he gave me a chance to speak, and I was positive that he would listen, I said: “Make sure you bring your whole backpack to the cafeteria, not just your lunch box.”

Insta-confusion. “Why?”

“Because everyone brings their backpacks to the cafeteria.”

In hindsight, that hadn't been the right thing to say. When I was in grade nine, I didn't care what other people thought of me, and that worked for me. If my brother wanted to bring just his lunch box to the cafeteria, and he took my advice instead, would I be holding him back?

Luckily, my worries never materialized. He survived the first day, and, assuming he does not get completely smushed during any of his football games, I'm confident the rest of this year will be a breeze for him. He's already found his crowd, his niche, and all he has to worry about is making it through math class.

However, not everybody clicks just like that. There are people that have difficulties, people who are intimidated by the idea of talking to somebody they don't know. Here are a few tips in case you're finding avoiding stereotypes and/or making new friends hard:

1. Be yourself. For real. If you pretend to be somebody you're not and you mess up—badly—then you will be remembered for quite the while as “The Person Who Had a Wardrobe Malfunction on the First Day Because They Didn't Wear What They Usually Do” or “That One Kid Who Spilled Spaghetti All Over the Quarterback In A Vain Attempt To Impress Him.” You'll feel awkward, embarrassed, and you'll be afraid anybody you have a conversation with—even the vice principal—will bring it up. That's not fun. And, to top it off, everybody gets the wrong impression about you.

2. Don't worry about what other people think of you. It causes unnecessary anxiety and stress, and that is definitely something you don't want if your hardest classes are next period.

3. Go with the flow. Do whatever comes naturally to you. If you aren't afraid of talking to strangers, more power to you. However, if you are uncomfortable with it, don't push your limits. Wait until you're at ease enough that you know you'll be able to carry a steady conversation and won't stutter.

4. And, perhaps most importantly, don't judge others, especially those you don't know. If word gets around that you judge people constantly, especially negatively, then don't be surprised if fewer and fewer people sit at your lunch table. This goes double for the people pretending to be somebody you're not. If you're insulting other people just to fit in, you're scaring away potential friends.

Keep your head on straight this year, Sparklers. Don't be afraid of being who you are. The friends will come, don't worry. Don't be ashamed to be the kid that brings just their lunch box to the cafeteria. You never know—somebody might like you for it.

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