Lurking in every school are two different, yet similar types of students: The Music Snob and The Movie Snob. Each type is unique and interesting, and each type can be annoying because they like to make you feel stupid. As we analyze the subtle differences between these two groups, we hope to answer the question: Who would you rather have as a friend?
Let's take a closer look at these subspecies of geeks.
The Music Snob
Physical characteristics: Music Snobs wear dark clothing and interesting belts. They go to great lengths to look as though they don't care much about their appearance. They don't use a backpack, but instead use a messenger bag littered with patches from music festivals. Their books are covered with stickers promoting bands no one has heard of. They look angry most of the time. If they are male, they have facial hair. If they are female, they wear glasses even if they have perfect eyesight.
Personality traits: The Music Snob prides himself on knowing more about the indie/punk/prog rock/etc. music scene than anyone else on the planet. If you mention any song that you enjoy, the Music Snob will laugh at you. If the Music Snob says he enjoys a certain song, and you agree that the song is good, he will change his mind about that song. Most of the Music Snob's friends are college-aged or older, a fact that he will mention frequently. Nothing can impress Music Snobs. If the school turned into a giant pumpkin filled with elves, the Music Snob would simply shrug. Music snobs rarely smile.
Pros of befriending the Music Snob:
Your music collection will grow by 4000%.
Music Snobs know where to get the best posters for your room.
You will discover a new genre of music that will define you, such as Country Funk.
You will become slightly cooler just by standing near the Music Snob.
Cons of befriending the Music Snob:
While your music collection will grow by 4000%, unless you own a record player, you will be unable to hear any of this new music. (Especially in your car.)
You and the Music Snob will listen to hours and hours of awful music that sounds like it was recorded inside a washing machine.
The Music Snob will yell at you for no reason. And he will ditch you at concerts so he can hang out with his hip friends.
You can never go back to The Black Eyed Peas. They are dead to you now.
The Movie Snob
Physical characteristics: Like Music Snobs, Movie Snobs usually wear black T-shirts that you don't understand. They carry their school books in an oversized backpack that is held together with tape and a little bit of luck. They are pale and sensitive to light. They wear shorts even in the winter, and they own more than one article of clothing or accessory that is fastened by Velcro. They have written a 145-page script and carry it around with them everywhere they go, but never let anyone read it. They cannot jump very high.
Personality traits: Movie Snobs have spent the past ten years watching every movie out there, from the classics to the oddities. And they are shocked that you haven’t done the same with your free time. They are chattier than Music Snobs. In fact, the problem with Movie Snobs isn't starting a conversation, but ending one. If you say, "I liked The Fast and The Furious," they will turn on you and berate you, harshly. Movie Snobs love to laugh at their own jokes.
Pros of befriending the Movie Snob:
Movie Snobs have a collection of the scariest, freakiest movies that have ever been made, and they love to share it with others.
They can be funny...sometimes.
After being educated by the Movie Snob, you will no longer list X-Men Origins: Wolverine as your favorite movie of the year.
Movie Snobs own the comfiest chairs, and great TVs.
Cons of befriending the Movie Snob:
Some of the movies that the Snob wants you to see will make you feel bad, and itchy on the inside of your skin.
When you're both out with your other friends, the Movie Snob will constantly correct them. For instance, if one of your friends says, "Alien 2 was awesome," the Movie Snob will respond, "I've never heard of that film. I've heard of Aliens, however. Perhaps that's the film you're talking about, as there is no such movie as Alien 2." He will do this without looking at anyone in particular.
If you don't get one of the Movie Snob's jokes, he will retell it and then stare at you expectantly.
If you're watching a movie at home with the Snob, and your TV's aspect ratio is not correct, prepare to be informed of this fact in a whiny, childish manner.
Your hair and clothes will smell like popcorn.
Conclusion: While the Movie Snob is a bit friendlier, after careful observation and analysis, we believe the Music Snob would be the better, cooler person to hang out with. Who would you rather have as a friend?