Tiffany Totally Reads THE VOGUE

HIIIIIIIII Y’ALL!

It’s meeee! Tiffany Thongbiscuit! And ohmagawd, Sparklers, I just had the AWESOMEST. Summer. EVAR. I spent the whole month of August thinking about how EXCITED I am for fall fashion! ‘Cause nobody really wears clothes in the summer, like, at all. But then when it gets cold, it is like really uncomfy to be running around naked, right? Right! Because I totally did that last year, and before the police caught me, I was like, OH EM GEEZER TIFFANY, you should have worn PANTS.

So the fall is basically nature, saying YO! Put some pants on! Because nature is SMART, you guys. After this, I am totally asking a cactus to help me study for the SATs.

So today was my first day of school, and everyone knows that the first day of school outfit is really important. So me and my best girlfriend Tammy Wafflepants spent EVERY DAY for like three weeks reading this very important magazine called “THE VOGUE,” and I don’t know what that means, but it is pronounced va-goo-eee and I think it’s, like, Australian or something for “pants and shirts and stuff.” And then after we looked at THE VOGUE we watched What Not To Wear for like twelve hours and then we were READY FOR FASHION. And then I styled my first day of school outfit! Want to know what it was? YEAH YOU DO.

So in THE VOGUE I read all about this show called Mad Men, and how everyone is really into Mad Men Fashion because it is So Hot Right Now. I don’t really know why everyone would be so excited about a bunch of mad men, because once I saw my dad get really mad and it was kind of scary and not fashionable AT ALL, but if THE VOGUE says so then it must be real. So I got some boxer briefs and a sport coat and a tie, and I tore them all up like I was really mad, and then I ran into school screaming. And the principal came out in his suit and started screaming, and I was all “Ohmagahd Mr. Hairpiece, you like the Mad Man look too!” and he was all, “Go to the office!”, and I was all “JUST REMEMBER THAT I STARTED THIS TREND, SIR.”

What did you guys wear on the first day of school?

xoxoxoxo!!!!

Tiffany