Ode to the Imaginary Friend

According to a study out of New Zealand, imaginary friends help children develop their language skills and can help them improve their grades. Looks like it was worth it to spend our weekends having tea parties with Mrs. Beasley and Roderick von Rickles the rat! If you’re thinking of rekindling the friendship with your imaginary buddy, here are some of the great advantages of friends-that-can’t-be-seen:

1. You always win the debate. “You agree with me, Mrs. Tiddly-Winks? I thought so.” Get used to this statement, because if you lose an argument with an imaginary friend, you are one terrible debater. As your imaginary friend has no original thought, from politics to pop culture, you will always be the smarter of your twosome.

2. More Candy for You. Offers to split your bag of candy corn are strictly for appearance. How great is that? What’s theirs is yours and what’s yours is yours. Imaginary friends don’t eat unless you have a plate of Brussel sprouts you need them to polish off.

3. No need to ask your parents for permission to see them. Curfews mean nothing when imaginary friends are in the picture. When you’re grounded, parents always say you can’t go out . . . but nobody ever forbade a dance party in your room with your ten imaginary friends.

4. Your secrets are safe with them. The lack of a mouth can be a very valuable thing in a friend. Go ahead and tell them all your deepest thoughts and feelings. They will never post terrible photos of you on Facebook, show your friends the video of you singing Itsy-Bitsy Spider in the second grade, or tell your crush that you like him/her.

5. You have the same taste in everything! Favorite ice cream is chocolate? Me too? Favorite actor is Brad Pitt? Me too. Wow, we have a lot in common. You and your imaginary friend never have to discuss which movie you want to see or what to have for dinner as you not only share everything, you share a mind.

Hey Sparklers, any other advantages you've found with imaginary friends?