Pay Per Comment?!?

So far the internet has given us free music, free movies, free television, free games, free encyclopedias, free advice, and free kittehs. The idea of actually paying for access to web content is contradictory to everything we've learned over the years. So we’re kind of nervous about the fact that more people are now going to start charging for online news.

This might sound like a concern for nerds only—most people can live without free access to cnbc.com. But look closer! If paying for things on the internet becomes a trend it’s going to affect everybody, from expert Sparklers to little old ladies trying to read the online version of the church bulletin.

However, before we sit back with an extra large bag of popcorn to see how this trend plays out in the vastness of the interwebs, we thought we’d have some fun by brainstorming what SparkLife features we could (hypothetically) attach a fee to.

Comments
People don’t just like leaving comments; when we see a cute picture of a bunny or a crazy-sounding opinion about our favorite Shaggy song, we need to leave a comment. Maybe we even need to leave a comment badly enough to pay 99 cents for the privilege to do so? Or maybe not. But there are other options. We could:

A. Auction off the rights to leave the first comment on every post.

B. Charge more and more the later a comment is. That way there’d be an even bigger incentive to be the early bird.

C. Fine people whose comments we disagree with!

Want to be the “Cute Thing of the Week?”
Impress your friends and especially your crushes with a Certification of Cuteness from the SparkNotes team! Bidding starts at $100 . . . now!!!

“The Chris Listens Hotline”
One of our in-house advice experts, Chris Diken, will listen to you over the phone or on Skype and offer his sage counsel. The cost is $2.99 for the first minute and $4.99 for each additional minute.

Dan Bergstein will read Twilight to you in person
The whole series. We haven’t actually discussed this with Dan yet, but isn’t this a great idea?

Comments are still free (for now) so don’t wait!