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Blogging New Moon: Part 12

Blogging New Moon: Part 12

Chapter Twelve: Intruder
Better Title: Jacob's a werewolf. Bella's a forgetful idiot.

After the exciting setup from the previous chapter, it's a bit disappointing when Victoria doesn't smash through Bella's window. Instead, it's just Jacob scratching to get in. He's hanging outside on a tree, trying to get her attention. When she asks what he's doing, he says he's trying to keep his promise. Could it be that he isn't a jerk anymore? Is he back to being awesome and Emmett-esque?

He warns her to step back, and flings himself into her bedroom through the open window. After making a perfect landing, he smiles to himself. Bella doesn't like this new, cocky Jacob and yells at him to get out of her room. He says he came to apologize. I knew he couldn't be that evil! Welcome back, Jacob! Please disregard everything I wrote about you in the previous post.

Jacob isn't wearing a shirt. This is the second time in the book he's described as shirtless. Although to be fair, he may have been shirtless throughout the entire book. Meyer never says, "And then Jacob did some stuff while wearing a shirt." I suppose female readers like this shirtlessness, but I don't. It makes me nervous. What if he catches a cold, or sits on a sticky vinyl chair and needs to get up suddenly? And I don't want him crying to me if he gets a nasty sun or moon burn on his back.

Bella tries to push him away, and notices that his skin is still feverishly warm. So werewolves are the opposite of vampires. Vamps have cold skin. Werewolves have hot skin. Vampires wear shirts. Werewolves do not. Vampires run away from an evil vampire. Werewolves run towards an evil vampire. Vampires are stupid. Werewolves are fantastic. I bet werewolves write thrash-metal songs instead of lullabies and say "Goodbye" when they answer the phone. It all makes sense.

Bella's emotional adventures of the past few days, coupled with her lack of sleep and fear of Victoria, mean she is not in the best of moods. Jacob tries to talk to her, and she backs up, eventually falling onto her bed. When he asks if she's OK, she yells, "Why in the world would I be okay, Jacob?" I kind of agree with her. She's had a rough week, and he should have brought her a present, such as fudge or a greeting card that plays a 15-second loop of "We Will Rock You."

Jacob then offers a sincere apology even if Bella is unwilling to accept it. He wants to explain what happened tonight, but for some reason he can't. She asks why he has to be so secretive, and he tries to tell her, but can't get the words out, either because he's sworn to secrecy or because he has trouble saying "werewolf" without giggling with excitement. I know how that feels.

He says this secret is really big and important, and hopes that she can understand, because she has been keeping a secret about vampires for over a year. She still doesn't comprehend that he is a werewolf. Darn it, Bella. Use your brain! I haven't been this frustrated since I tried to explain Twitter to my 4-year-old cousin. (He kept arguing that Twitter will just add to the problem of a misinformed society and would never replace true journalism. Then he ran away screaming, "I'm gonna catch caterpillars!")

Since Jacob cannot tell Bella this secret, he tries to make her guess what it is. He wants her to remember their conversation from last year, when he told her about vampires and werewolves. She remembers the conversation, but only focuses on the vampires, either because she's so tired, or because she's a moron.

There must be a reason why Jacob can't tell her the truth, but he could use some other method to pass along the info. For instance, he could point to a war, and then point to a wolf. And keep doing this until Bella got what he was driving at. Or, he could simply tell her all the types of monsters that he isn't, and hopes she figures it out through process of elimination. It would take a while, especially if you consider various types of aliens to be monsters, but it just might work.

Bella goes over last year's conversation, remembering how they talked about Edward and ancient legends. Jacob keeps pushing her to remember more of their talk. But she is getting angry, and doesn't feel like taking a Jacob Quiz right now.

I may have mentioned this in another post, but when I was young, my brother told me warthogs lived in the cornfield and would eat my toes if I ventured into the field. I knew he was lying. But if today someone said to me, "Hey Dan, nice shirt. By the way, do you remember what your brother…" I would cut him off and say, "Is this about the toe-gobbling warthogs?" You don't forget strange stories, and Bella should realize what Jacob is hinting at.

Jacob gets the feeling that this is going nowhere, and says maybe the memory will come back to her later. She asks if he can ever leave this secret life, and he says that's impossible because it's a lifetime membership, and it could last longer than that. Oh. My. God! Do you know what this means? ZOMBIE WEREWOLVES! Happy Birthday to me!

Since no real information is getting divulged, and Bella is about to pass out form lack of sleep, Jacob leaves. Before jumping out of the window, he tells her that he snuck out to see her, but will have to admit what he's done to the others when he returns. She says she hates Sam, and Jacob once again defends him, saying he's a good dude. He says all five members of the cult are pretty cool, even Embry. He's about to something negative about Paul, another cult member, but remains quiet. (Maybe Paul smells, or says "p'sghetti" instead of "spaghetti.")

Bella asks why, if these guys are nice, do they forbid Jacob from seeing her. And he says, "It's not safe." Or rather, he "mumbled" this. It's no secret that Stephenie Meyer loves to use the words "murmured" and "mumbled" to attribute dialogue. I guess people in Forks have weak, lazy lips. At first it didn't bother me, but now I notice it so much that it's distracting. I'll have to go through the other books, cross out these silly words, and replace them with the clear-cut "said" or the technical "orated," or the fun-to-say "prattled," or the even-more-fun-to-say (and yes, it's a real word) "bloviated."

Despite the danger, Jacob says he had to see her again because after they saw the movie with Marshmallow Mike, he promised Bella that he would never hurt her. Then, after their fight/talk earlier, he felt bad for acting so mean and awful. So he came to apologize and tried to let her know what was happening. But Bella is stupid and can't figure it out.

He continues to bloviate, saying he'll try to see her again soon, even if the others try to talk him out of it. He says that once she figures out his secret, she should come and tell him…if she wants to. This last bit confuses her. Why would she not want to see him after his secret is revealed?

He won't give any hints, and says that if she doesn't want to see him after figuring everything out, she can call him instead. He hugs her tightly, and leaves.

Since she doesn't realize he's a werewolf, I wonder what Bella thinks his secret is. Given the clues (acting strange, being dangerous, hanging out with Sam), perhaps she thinks he is:

A drug user
A Wererhino
A drug dealer
A moody creep
A young actor trying to prepare for his role as a werewolf
A robot who is trying to feel love despite his cold, procedural programming
A ghost
Acting strange because some guys don't know how to relax around women.

Bella then has another dream. This dream is just like her first nightmare from the last book, where Jacob warns her about Edward. Then Dream Jacob turns into a wolf. Bella wakes up screaming and begins to piece things together.

She remembers the full conversation she had with him last year, when he told her that his relatives were descendents of wolves, and that some of these men can transform into wolves. She also remembers that the werewolves have only one enemy, the cold ones (a.k.a. Pretty Night Things That Bite).

Bella doesn't know what to think. She can't believe that Jacob is a real werewolf. How could two mythical monsters live in the same town? (Though I long suspected that my town was filled with both evil elves that look like chipmunks, and nasty leprechauns that look like mailboxes.) She always knew that Edward wasn't a normal human. He was too handsome and perfect. But she never noticed anything supernatural about Jacob, so this news is even more shocking.

Though it's early in the morning, she needs to see Jacob and tell him that she figured it out. She rushes out the door past a confused Charlie, but he stops her, mentioning that there has been another wolf attack, and this time an eyewitness saw the wolf.

The rise in wolf attacks has caused a panic, and a reward has been offered for any dead wolf. Charlie says he needs to help search for the wolves, plus he's worried that there will be too many angry hunters out there and wants to make sure there are no accidents. This is just like Jaws, only less exciting and not as influential on young filmmakers.

Charlie leaves, and Bella doesn't know what to do. Should she go tell her dad about werewolves? Should she warn Jacob that everyone is looking for wolves? Since she doesn't understand werewolf rules, she's not sure why they eat people. Do they hunt for food or because they liked to kill? Can werewolves ever be good? (No. They can be great!)

She thinks back on how Carlisle had to struggle with his diet for centuries until he could control it. And now she doesn't know if protecting the werewolves is a smart move. Silly Bella, werewolves don't need protection. That's like trying to save Superman from a bee sting. The chapter ends with Bella trying to decide what to do.

Prediction: For his birthday, Bella gives Jacob a T-shirt. He looks at and says, "Great! I always wanted a pillow case with far too many openings. Thanks, Bella!" He then oils up his chest to get ready for their ski trip.

More Dan awaits you: there are blog posts, tweets, and a Facebook group.

Topics: Books
Tags: blogging twilight, cartoons, blogging new moon

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