The Ultimate Guide To Random Acts Of Weirdness

Sparkler kerryBLAH is weird, but we mean it in a good way. Here's how you can be more like her! —SparkNotes Editors

If summer wasn't everything you hoped it would be, there's still time to make it right...or at least really, really random. The following is a list of things to do in public to keep yourself amused and others bemused. If anyone (randoms/relatives/goldfish) dares to ask why or what the heck you're doing, stare at them deeply and wide-eyed, tilt your head slightly, and say, "and so the ponderer was cursed."

1. Walk down the road pretending to be in a car. Retain a squat position, change gears, and rest your arm on the "window." Try to get friends to be other passengers.

2. Read a book on the bus upside down. Ignore any disapproving looks from other passengers. Laugh hysterically every now and again at your book.

3. Walk up to a random and begin talking excitedly about how long it's been since you last saw them. See how many people play along to avoid the awkwardness.

4. Talk to your left hand.

5. Get in a fight with your left hand and make it jealous by talking to your right hand.

6. Smile at someone next to you in a line. Hold that smile. When they look confused, say proudly, "I have six toes."

7. When walking down the street, greet every lamp post with a hug.

8. Comment on someone doing their shopping, ie: "Oh she's going for the bananas. Good choice! But oh no, what's this?! A bruise? Well this just is not good enough. She replaces and picks up the next bunch. Bad luck, guys. Maybe next time."

9. Pretend to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Ask someone if they can take a picture of you and your "boyfriend/girlfriend." Hold your arm out sideways as if you have your arm around your significant other. "Show" your boyfriend/girlfriend the picture when the random has taken it. Better still, ask the random to show your "boyfriend/girlfriend" while you tie your shoelace.

10. Walk with your arms sticking straight out. Turn sideways when going through doors.

11. Give names to everything in your fridge. Write these names on labels to ensure your family are aware that the block of cheese is called Bartholomew.

12. Ride your bike like it's a horse. Attach a tail to the back end, carry a whip, and wear jockey trousers and a hat.

13. Go to the the shop in your socks. Insist on sliding down the aisles instead of walking. Slide backwards.

14. Shout into a postbox, "It's okay Fred! Don't panic, I'm gonna get you outta there!" and then run around flustered before going back and shouting more reassuring words.

15. When at a bus stop, look at the bus timetable closely. When I say closely, I mean leave a 0.5 centimeter gap between you and the timetable.

16. When trying on clothes in a shop, come out of the fitting room and ask the people waiting what they think. Before they have a chance to answer, shout, "I KNEW I LOOKED FAT!" and run back in the cubicle, upset. Glare at them all when exiting.

17. Find a family of ants scurrying on the floor and chant "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!"

18. Charge people who share the elevator with you. Say it is your elevator. Ask them politely to leave if they are not willing to pay. If they refuse, hiss and make your eyes go wide as if you have been possessed.

19. Juggle invisible objects and cry when you drop one.

20. Freak out a sibling by swapping the furniture in his/her room around. Get everyone else in the house to say their room has always been that way.

Have any other random acts of weirdness to add to the list?