You're sitting at the computer, eating a delicious sandwich, when suddenly you get the urge to tell everyone how yummy your food is. Instead of calling all your friends over for a press conference, you use Twitter to enlighten the world about your lunch. And that's fine. That's why Twitter exists. But if all you talk about is sandwiches, a few of your followers might start ignoring your comments. To spice things up, you should throw some humor out there. Be funny, and people will notice your Tweets.
If you want to make your friends laugh in 140 characters or less, simply follow these rules:
The key to comedy gold are the two little words "More like…" Take any person, event, element, or emotion and make it funny by adding a question mark, followed by these two magical words, and then end with some clever rhymes. For example: "Katy Perry? More like Katy Scary!" or "Nightly News? More like Nightly Snooze." To add impact, end with, "Am I right?" or "Ka-pow!"
In some instances, you'll need to supply a reason for your mockery. So when you write, "August? More like Frog-ust. Am I right?" to avoid confusion you should add, "Seriously, I'm moving to France for a month."
Let your mind wander. A relaxed brain is capable of coming up with wonderful ideas. Most of the time, these thoughts are ephemeral, but if you quickly post them, the world will think you're some sort of genius. For instance, just by staring off into space for a minute, I came up with, "If shoelaces had been invented before shoes, shoes would have been called Lace Receivers." Don't worry about sounding silly. Being silly is important for a funny tweet.
Pretend you're stuck in the future. This works better if you really commit to the joke, and continue posting from the future for a few days. For example, "I'm stuck in the year 2199. Please help! Robot inquisitor refuses to believe me, calls me a bio-infiltrator." Or, "I'm hiding out with the Rat People beneath New Kentucky."
Never use "just kidding" or a winky face. Don't hide behind emoticons. Stand by your statement. Besides, which is funnier?:
I bet Lady Ga Ga smells like burnt plastic.
I bet Lady Ga Ga smells like burnt plastic. JK! ;) ;) ;)
Don't worry about hurting Lady Ga Ga's feelings. (She doesn't have any feelings because she's a space witch.)
Don't be mean to people you know. We don't want you to be a bully. But the real reason not to jeer at people you know is that we won't understand a joke that reads, "Stacey Baxter? More like Spacey Back-Flirts!" (Besides, that one doesn't really rhyme.)
Did you know Dan is on Twitter? Yup! Follow him at http://www.twitter.com/dantuty