Friends With Benefits?! No Thanks.
In this post, Sparkler Andjela_AMilli shares her bad summer fling experience so other Sparklers don't make the same mistake! Thanks, Andjela_AMilli! —SparkNotes Editors
Whether it's with the boy or girl next door, the person you see only during the summer, a new friend or an old flame, romances are sure to blaze up in the summer heat. But what happens when things don't work out? Fear not! Yours truly has recent experience in this exact situation and is willing to share newly gained knowledge with you.
Here's what happened: I met the friend of a close friend this summer at a bonfire. There was an automatic spark between us. For weeks, we were inseparable—but we weren't actually in a relationship. I wasn't worried, though, because he told our mutual friend that he had all intention of asking me out.
Weeks of smooching, walking along the beach, and rambling through parks ended one day with a phone call from, let's call him, Mr. Jerk (I'm not bitter or anything). He said he "cared about me" but he just wanted to be friends...WITH BENEFITS.
I don't know about you, Sparklers, but I am not a fan of the term "friends with benefits." It's a low category to be placed in, a disposable position that disappears with the arrival of a new love interest. A surefire sign that things aren't going so well is if your would-be significant other hasn't popped the anticipated question: asking you to be steady, as they said back in the day.
Here's what I would recommend for people confronted with the "friends with benefits" request:
- Down container after container of your favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry's ice cream until you gain a few pounds and can no longer wear your favorite bikini.
- Give him/her an ultimatum: Be with you, or lose you.
- You can do better, so move on! There's nothing you can really do about the other person's decision in this situation, and you'll only hurt yourself if you stick around waiting for him/her to change. Know that if what s/he really wanted out of you was just "benefits," s/he's not worth your time. As my aunt would always say: "There's plenty of other fish in the sea!" ...although she was talking to her cats.
Have you ever been a friends with benefits or been asked to be? What did you do?