The Last Days of Summer
Feeling guilty about spending all summer laying on your bed, looking at the ceiling, waiting for your life to start? Lucky for you, Sparkler pikori has some solutions (and excuses) for dealing with the last days of summer. —SparkNotes Editors
You might as well face the music—there’s only a month of summer left. Then we are forced back to the plastic-chaired, whiteboard-covered, smelly kid-filled school that will claim us for the next nine months. There, only one thing may save you from logarithm theories: memories of summer.
Worried you haven’t done enough preparing for the inevitable mind torture that lies ahead? Here’s how to make your final month last a school year:
Think about it in school time. If you were in school, a month would seem like a long time. Especially if it were February; though it’s the shortest month, it always seems to be the longest, most boring, cold, wet, and dreary ordeal of the year. A month in school is long enough to complete a research paper, a history project, and a bad mobile resembling the universe. But in summer you don’t even have to do any of that—so sit and bask in the glory.
Sleep! You may be asking, “But wouldn’t that just be wasting the short time we have left?” NO! Sleep is one of the most valuable things stolen from students during the school year. Living off seven or less hours of sleep for nine months is not going to serve you well. If there’s one lesson we can learn from bears (besides how to catch salmon with only our mouths), it’s that storing up sleep is very effective.
Play with your pets. Rover will miss those trips to the park during the school year. Let him get his fun time now, before you disappear for seven hours each day. It’s the least he deserves.
Finish your summer homework. Yes, this may seem counterproductive, but the real purpose of utilizing your summer is to make the school year suck less. And getting an F the first day of school because you never read The Scarlet Letter isn’t a great way to start the year. You can always compromise, though, and plan your work in moderation.
Watch daytime television. Who knows when you’ll ever see it again? You might have to go until Thanksgiving break before you can see The Price is Right or It’s On With Alexa Chung again. Better get your fill while you can.
Spend time outside. Sure, the warm weather will be around for another few months, but will you get to enjoy it? No, you’ll be inside writing a paper on John Steinbeck’s style or why Emily Dickinson never left her house (my guess is bees). So spend time under the sun, ‘cause the closest you’ll get to soaking up sun rays come late August is a window seat.
Beat all of your video games. It’s best to get it over with now, so you don’t feel that temptation to destroy the evil warlock when there’s a chemistry book you need to read instead.
Finish your summer to-do list. We all have one. Whether it includes writing a novel you’ve been thinking up since last winter, or reading all those comic books your dad keeps in the garage, you need to get it done now. Obviously you put it off until summer so you’d have enough time. Well, here we are coming into the home stretch and you haven’t even begun building the equipment for your flea circus. Hurry, man! Time is running out!
Film a viral video. Return to school and have everyone know your name! Bonus points if it has to do with burning terrible books that you are required to read. Minus points if you need said book for fifth period English.
Count up the days you have until you finish college. Sure, it may seem like a lot, but if you make a chart you can cross off each day, you will get much satisfaction. Only 2140 days to go!
What are your plans for the last days of summer?