Commercials That Are Freaking Us Out Right Now

Have you ever been going about your business, spending your Sunday afternoon supine on your couch, enjoying a Law & Order SVU marathon, when all of a sudden a commercial comes on and thirty seconds later you feel like you need El & O to track down the perps who just visually assaulted you in the face?

We're pretty sure commercials are supposed to sell you on the product. So we have to wonder what the Mad Men behind these brands were thinking. These TV spots are seriously freaking us out:

Palm Pre. This is how we see this marketing meeting going down:

Ad Man 1: Catherine Zeta Jones is just so unapproachable. You know who I'd trust? An albino zombie with an unusually deep monotone voice who puts the emphasis on all the wrong words in her lines.

Ad Man 2: Yes! I like what you're laying down. And maybe she can tell pointless stories about reincarnation and jugglers but then find a way to connect them to her cell phone?

Ad Man 1: But she wouldn't have eyelashes.

Ad Man 2: Oh no. Of course not. Eyelashes would be creepy.

The Olive Garden. On the surface, this commercial about the blurry boundaries of this mom-son relationship Italian casual dining chain is mind-numbing heartwarming, but we have two issues: 1) I'm pretty sure the son is sporting a wig. 2) What teenage boy really talks with his mom like that?! If my mom had asked my 15 year-old brother if he was "serious" with his girlfriend, he would have been like, "Gah, Mom! Stop embarrassing me with your prying questions at this crowded, mediocre eating establishment!"  And what would constitute "serious" at fifteen? ("Actually, mom, Stacy and I are engaged! And you're gonna be a grandma!") Is she asking if he's sexually active over endless salad and breadsticks? That's just wrong.

Klondike Bars. Let us put this simply: Ice cream and bunions don't mix. (Ice cream and Funyuns, that's another story.)

Lamisil.* We were pretty sure this anti-fungal medication couldn't do any worse than the commercial where Digger the Dermatophyte, Lamisil's friendly cartoon war criminal spokesperson, lifts up his victim's toenails. We were wrong. The ad geniuses at Lamisil have decided Digger had some more provisions of the Geneva Conventions to violate. So just in time for summer, we get a flesh-eating athlete's foot ad.

* Apologies we can't find this one online, but maybe it's for the best.

What commercials are freaking you out?