Surviving the Family Camping Trip

One summer ritual as old as time itself is the summer camping expedition with the family. Some of you out there might be seasoned veterans. You might already know what kind of tick bites to freak out over and which plants to avoid and how close you can safely get to a moose.

But others out there might be completely new to this glorious family pasttime. Either way, we at SparkNotes can teach you a thing or two about surviving your time in the wilderness. So pull your quad chair up close to the fire and listen up.

How to get out of cooking. If the 'rents expect you to take a turn preparing meals, you just need to remind them of one important fact: propane explodes. Now, you can't simply tell them that you don't want to do it--they'll just think you're being lazy. But there are subtle ways to help them arrive at this conclusion. We're not suggesting you loosen the hose leading to the tank and set fire to the leaking gas. But a few well-placed "Oopses" and "Yikeses" while you're fiddling around with the lighter may cause them to wonder if this is such a great idea.

How to keep in touch. Your parents might not be down with you texting your friends while they're trying to get away from it all as a family, but there's an easy way around that: Volunteer for every errand that takes you out of eyesight for indeterminate amounts of time. Need some firewood? I'll get it. Need those veggies to be washed in the stream? I'm there. Your folks will be so jazzed at your helpfulness, they won't think to question why it takes you 30 minutes just to find dried leaves for kindling.

How to find your niche. Camping goes most smoothly when everyone finds his or her area of expertise and sticks to it. Maybe one person is in charge of cooking, and another is in charge of the tents. Try to find a specialty that isn't too demanding, like being in charge of keeping the campfire going, or reminding people to use the bug spray, or pointing out constellations.

How to go home early. Camping is all about roughing it, living off the land, becoming one with the wilderness, surviving with only what you can carry on your back (or in the back of your family's SUV). That said, a lot of that equipment is pretty vital. If you think the trip is going to stretch out a little long, there are ways around it. Leaving the lanterns and flashlights on overnight, filling the cooler with nearly-expired food, and packing the air mattresses in with the tent pegs and toasting forks are all surefire ways to make sure a planned two-week stay miraculously becomes a four-night stay.

How have your family camping trips gone? Got camping tips of your own? Pitch a tent in the comments and tell us about them.