Your Parents Are Full of It

According to our parents, our generation is lazy and entitled, whereas their generation grew up with a healthy respect for authority and a Brady Bunch-like tendency to smile 24/7. Oh, and our minds are slowly being ruined by the internet, "Family Guy," and iPods.

Was their world really a better place? Were they more respectful, and was society somehow better back in the day? We can’t say with certainty, but taking into account historical evidence and common sense, we’re guessing the answer is NO. As proof, let's examine the following common parental claims:

“When I was a kid, we obeyed our elders.”
Parents seem to think if we disagree with their rules, it means we don’t respect them. Try this exercise: Ask your parents about the rules their parents set for them. Will they start talking about how wise grandma and grandma were when they grew up? Absolutely not. They will go on a five-minute rant about how crazy their parents were, and if you’re lucky, they may share instances of how they circumvented the rules. Keep these written down to cite the next time you’re arguing that you should be allowed to stay out past nine on a weeknight.

“You have to decide what you’re going to do with your life!”
What? You’re a sophomore in high school and you don’t know what job you want 30 years from now? How will you support the kids that you won’t have for another 15 years? For some reason, the pressure for teens to pick a permanent career/identity is on the rise—but don’t let them steal your youth! Take detours and explore your interests. And hey, just remind your parents that they switched careers three times and still managed to raise someone as wonderful as you.

“High school is the most important time of your life.”
Parents stricken with “One Tree Hill” syndrome are deluded into thinking these four years will irreversibly change who you are for the rest of your life. A bad grade on a history essay or getting a tongue piercing could ruin you! If you hear this claim, just ask them to name three high school teachers who made a lasting impression on their lives. And how many of their high school friends do they still hang out with? Zero? That’s what we thought.

“The movies you watch are too violent.”
It’s all about background—we’ve grown up with Terminators and Mr. Bourne, so as sick as “Grindhouse” was, it’s not going to turn us into serial killers. But more importantly, it was the ticket buyers of the ’70s—our parents—who popularized the slasher genre and gangster movies. So even if things did get worse, it was their thirst for blood and bullets that got us where we are now.

“Is this even music?”
Was this even music? (Rick Dees’ “Disco Duck” was a NUMBER ONE hit in 1976, btw.) There’s always going to be terrible music on the radio. It’s not our fault, mom!!

“People used to be nicer.”
Yeah, don’t you miss the good ole days when only white males could get ahead in this country? The world was so nice back then….

But watch out.....

Even if you manage to convince your parents they are holding you to standards they never followed, they still like to pull out the nonsense logic of “Do as I say, not as I do.” Which essentially means they're giving you advice that was never good enough for them to follow. We're not buying it.

What other convenient fantasies do your parents invent about their youth? Any other claims about the good old days that you refuse to believe?