The...This Is So Awkward...Um...Friday Awards

Happy Friday, Sparklers!

Or...maybe not, because the theme of the week is awkward.

Feeling awkward about acknowledging your awkwardness? That's OK, I'll go first:

Me: I think we should do a joke about Sparklers and the 4th of July.

Editor: Huh?

Me: Because, you know, "sparklers"?!?! Like...um...Sparklers play with sparklers? Or Sparklers, don't burn yourselves with...yourselves.

Editor: Um...

SILENCE.

Me: This is...awkward.

Awkward Story Awards go to...

Spaghetti77 for...

How about your teacher at your house, 6:30am?

My mom used to work at my school and one night our music teacher had about a 3 hour commute from his house to the school. He was staying late one night and my mom offered to let him stay overnight at our house instead of overnight in his band classroom. I didn’t hear anything about this and went to bed before he came over.

In the morning I get out of bed and stagger into the kitchen, still in my PJs and everything, looking for breakfast. I sat down and he was eating breakfast ACROSS THE TABLE FROM ME.

and to irishchic96xo for...

My friend was shopping in Aerie (Bra/Underwear Store for Teens) and she ran into our english teacher there!!!

and to Shayberry2 for...

one time i was on a bus and there were these sketchy guys so i pretended to be on my cell phone. i got really into my fake conversation and then suddenly my ringtone was blasting in my ear. it scared me so bad i like jumped out of my chair. and it turns out it was only my mom calling me. the guys on the bus were laughing at me it was so embarrassing! now whenever i pretend to talk on my phone i mute it haha.

Fab Addition to Things We Didn't Need to Hear (things people say that they really shouldn't) goes to Hingham13 for the comment...

“Awkward Silence!!”

WE DON’T NEED TO HEAR THAT.

That Must Have Been Really Awkward for the Mannequin Points go to...

KedevraRaven for...

Whats funny is that my friend and i a couple months ago got in trouble at hollister because we were making the mannequins more modest.. XD i mean the shirts the girl mannequin was wearing was buttoned down to here navel so we buttoned it up and pulled the dude mannequins pants up because they were dragging.. then this preppy blonde came out and was like thanks guys.. all weird you know and sarcastic.. we just laughed at her and ran away. XD

Points for creatively dealing with the awkward if-you-love-me-you'll-pee-on-me scenario go to...

_PepsiCola_ for...

I would tell her Id get help and secretly pee in a cup saying its medicine and thatll help.

Awkward (but crafty!) Uses of a Ferret Abroad Points go to...

CoffinMaker (nominated by DrHorriblesClone) for...

A ferret! I know plenty of things you could use a ferret for! I wrote a book on how ferrets could be used in Europe, called *How Ferrets Can Be Used in Europe*
…Have you ever had a snake caught in your hotel toilet? Ferret.
…Terrible mouse problem in your luggage (English rats are the worst)? Ferret.
…Need your toenails cut but don’t have a pair of clippers? Ferret.

The Simile of the Week goes to...

Oh, this is awkward. I can't find any similes. Awkward!

And of course...The Twilight Award. This week's it goes to northerngrunge, who wrote a poem dedicated to the awkward love affair going on between you and Dan Bergstein.

Dan you are amazing,
I love the things you’re saying
And Dan I can boast,
That I never miss your post
I really know you care,
When you poke fun at Eddy’s hair
Your predictions are so great,
I need someone like you to date
I think we should be married,
and Twilight should be burried!

Have a completely non-awkward 4th of July, Sparklers!