When Do You Go To Bed?

Last week, we examined how the time you wake up can define your personality. A few readers suggested we do the opposite, and find out how a person's bedtime relates to her personality. Because we can never say no to peer pressure (it's why we're wearing these ugly shoes), here is our Summer Vacation Bedtime Personality Guide (or SVBPG, for short).

If you go to sleep between...
7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.: You are a farmer. Or you think prime-time television is obscene and intellectually insulting, so you'd rather turn in early and let your dreams be your entertainment.

8:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.: You are a farmer who likes to party.

9:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.: You are a responsible young adult who understands the value of sleep. You probably have a summer job, and need the rest to be the best employee you can be. Also, you love missing out on everything.

10:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m.: You had a rough day, and tomorrow will be no picnic. So you give in to your body's needs and get some well-deserved rest. Of course, what this really means is that your body is the boss of you, and if it told you to jump off a cliff, you would do it.

11:00 p.m. – midnight: You listen to your parents. And if your parents told you to jump off a…well, you get the idea.

Midnight – 1:00 a.m.: You are a typical teen on summer vacation, staying up later than you should, but still able to get a few hours of sleep.

1:00 a.m. – 2:00 a.m.: You are a slightly cranky, typical teen. Going to bed during this time period is nothing to brag about, so please shut up. Your friends don't really care.

2:00 a.m. – 3:00 a.m.: You hate hearing about things the next day. Even though you didn't have a good time tonight, you still stuck around because in the back of your mind, you thought something monumental was going to happen. Finally, when nothing epic occurred, you decided to call it a night and head home. (By the way, after you left the party, the most amazing thing happened, involving fire, police, public nudity, and Vince Vaughn.)

3:00 a.m. – 3:30 a.m.: This is what you get when you drink a Red Bull milkshake during Conan.

3:30 a.m. – 4:00 a.m.: You call yourself a night owl. Stop being redundant. Owls are nocturnal, so saying "night owl" is like calling a morning person a day chicken. Call yourself a regular owl instead. It makes more sense. If that doesn't sound right to you, use a different nocturnal animal, as in, "I get most of my work done at night. I guess that's because I've always been a bit of a binturong."

4:00 a.m. – 5:00 a.m.: Stop worrying about it. She didn't mean anything when she said that. Besides, even if she did, why do you care what Megan thinks? Now try to get some sleep.

5:00 a.m. – 5:15 a.m.: All right, now you can brag about what time you went to sleep and people will be sincerely impressed.

5:15 a.m. – 6:00 a.m.: Hurry. Go to bed now or else the sun will sneak into your room and you'll never be able to…crap. Too late. You might as well stay up now and continue tagging yourself in Facebook pictures.

6:00 a.m. – 6:30 a.m.: First, let us welcome you to America! We hope you had a wonderful flight from New Zealand. Second, when your jet lag wears off, you simply must visit the Crayola Factory and see how markers are made. You can thank us later. http://www.crayola.com/Factory/

6:30 a.m. – 7:00 a.m.: Congratulations on finding all the Star Coins in New Super Mario Bros. Your bucket list is now complete.

7:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.: It's OK. We're not mad. We're just glad you're all right. Get into bed and we can talk about this in the morning.

So, when do you go to bed during summer vacation? And remember, we can tell when you're lying.