Don't Eat the Cowflop-Covered Banana: Sage Advice from Auntie SparkNotes

This week's problem: Creeeeeeepy!

Well, I have a stalker problem.
One day I was on my IM account, and talking back and forth to one of my close online friends. I know she's who she says she is because I've talked to her over an Internet phone before. (Pretty cool experience.) Anyway, I got somebody asking me to be their contact, but I had no idea who they were. I talked with them for a little while, and it seemed it was the Internet equivalent of a wrong number. A few weeks later, the same person contacted me again. I added them as a contact when they did, as they seemed pretty decent, if a bit off. I pretty quickly learned one thing. This person was a guy, and while I don't typically notice these things, he was pretty hot. I also picked up on the fact that he was flirting with me. He asked how old I was, and the convo was basically this:

Me: 14.
Him.: ???
Me: Shocked?
Him: Are you keeting???
Me: Kidding, and nope.
Him: I was not expecting this...

He seemed to pretty quickly stop flirting, and I was relieved, because when he asked my age, my eyes drifted up to his birthday, now available because I'd added him. He was thirty years old. The conversation turned weirder when he found my screen photo.

Him: You have a photo?
Me: Yup.
Him: Just to see you...

I'd pretty much tuned out of the convo, categorizing this guy as harmless. Then I realized the implications of his last statement, and a red flag went up. I tried to prod him to elaborate on his half statement, and I had to approach it a few ways to get it. Then he told me he wanted to see me, then he said he already had.
Well, after sending me a photo of him. I found it creepy, but I never tell a creepy person they look creepy (unless I think they'd take it as a compliment) so I said Cool. He seemed to get really excited, and I made a comment about how cool was a detached overused cliche. I had to explain myself again, and I thoroughly questioned the sanity and intelligence of this guy.

He then stated that "You are a little girl" and "I am a big boy, but not so big" and the creepy meter went way up. I felt like a parent of his trying to convince him to go to bed after he mentioned it was midnight where he was, and that he had work tomorrow.

So, what's the predicament, right? Just block him, or as my friend I was talking to at the time said: "Creepycreepycreepycreepyblockhimblockhimblockhim!!!"

But, I have two things getting in the way of immediate blockage.

1: I'm too nice. This guy seems okay besides the glaring marks of: Possibly mentally ill, and trying to flirt with a fourteen year old, after knowing her age. I don't wanna hurt his feelings when he finds I've blocked him, but I don't wanna encourage him to flirt with me.

2: I have a friend that's a stalker. I have a pretty good idea of how it feels for him, if he's even aware of what he's doing.

So I just can't find it in myself to block him right now.

Anything you can say to me, or I can say to him, to make me feel better about blocking this guy?

Why, of course! Auntie SparkNotes has some complicated, cogent, highly intellectual feedback on the particulars of your situation. Ready?

CREEPYCREEPYCREEPYCREEPYBLOCKHIMBLOCKHIMBLOCKHIMBLOCKHIM.

Oops, sorry—couldn’t help myself. But really? Really??? Saying, “This guy seems okay besides the glaring marks of: Possibly mentally ill, and trying to flirt with a fourteen year old, after knowing her age,” is like saying, “This banana seems okay, except that it’s five hundred years old and covered in cow poop.” So... would you eat that banana? (Please say no.)

A 30-year-old man has absolutely no business making flirtatious and/or sexually charged remarks to a girl half his age. You KNOW that’s creepy. That is so creepy, it’s creepier than Vincent Price watching The Blair Witch Project in a bathtub full of spiders. And yet, you’re looking for more reasons to sever contact. So, well, okay. Here are some good reasons.

1. To put this in perspective: The age discrepancy we’re talking about here is like if Joshua Jackson was hitting on Abigail Breslin. Or if Christian Bale was hitting on Dakota Fanning. Or if Angelina Jolie was hitting on Zack and Cody. Seriously, ew.

2. “I’m a big boy, but not so big” would maybe, possibly be okay coming out of the mouth of a four year-old trying on a pair of pants. From a 30 year-old? Even if he was talking to someone his own age, that would still be totally creep-tastic.

3. His entire half of the dialogue sounds like it was taken, verbatim, from an episode of "To Catch a Predator." Not good.

4. You're thinking of your sympathetic "stalker" friend, but there's a problem: That guy is still in high school, he’s still learning how to interact with the opposite sex, and he's under the age of 18. (Right?) So if your friend were bothering you over instant message, it wouldn't be unreasonable for someone to take him aside and tell him to back off... whereas in this case, it wouldn't be unreasonable for someone to call the police.

But you know what? I’ve left out the most important reason, which is:
YOU DON’T NEED A REASON TO BLOCK SOMEONE WHO CREEPS YOU OUT.

We’re all conditioned from an early age to get along, act politely, and be “nice”…which is all well and good, except that said conditioning teaches us avoid rocking the boat at all costs—even when our gut is sending up giant, screaming red flags that say “RUN AWAY!” (And this is especially problematic for girls, who end up in really bad situations because they don’t want to seem “bitchy” for asserting themselves.) So listen, and listen good: When somebody behaves inappropriately toward you, especially when that person is an adult who should know better, all bets are off. Never doubt your gut when it tells you something’s off, and don’t sacrifice your safety for the sake of being nice. Nice is overrated. You heard it here.

Okay? Okay.

This guy is a creepy stranger. You owe him nothing. Now go block his [behind], stat.

Got any advice for our question-asker? Got a question for Auntie SparkNotes? Leave it in the comments, or email her at advice@sparknotes.com.