Zodiac Rock Playlist

If you believe in the zodiac, then celestial stars help define and express your personality. If you believe in rock 'n' roll, then pop stars help define and express your personality.

Let's combine the two: What rock songs define each astrological sign? Below are the twelve segments of the zodiac and the rock tunes that sum them up. Which song are you?

Aries (March 21-April 19)—“New Beginnings” by Love Is All
The take-no-prisoners enthusiasm these Swedish garage-punks inject into this song is pure Aries attitude. People under this sign also have a fondness for fresh starts, and so the band’s fiery cries of “I need a new beginning!” and “why can’t I keep quiet?!” are perfect for Aries.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)—“Material Girl” by Madonna
Although she’s stated she regrets recording this song, Madonna circa 1984 was the most Taurus-like (but actually non-Taurus) singer ever. She embodied the sensuality, ambition, determination, and hedonism that Tauruses are associated with. Not to mention Taurus has much affection for material pleasures—making this song the obvi choice.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)—“Teenage Riot” by Sonic Youth
Geminis are all about youthfulness and versatility. Sonic Youth have skillfully mastered most styles of alternative rock since the early ’80s, AND they have the word “youth” in their name. Not to mention their masterpiece is called “Teenage Riot,” which musically evokes the teenage experience—it alternates between lively fun and moody meandering. Which is also what Geminis do.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)—“Hotel Yorba” by The White Stripes
More than any other modern rocker, Jack White loves to paint romantic pictures of a long-lost America founded on homey values. Since Cancers have a penchant for romantic domesticity, “Hotel Yorba” is essential listening. This is probably the only hard rock song that finds the singer professing his desire for the simple, nurturing domestic life without snotty irony.

Leo (July 23-August 22)—“Musicology” by Prince
Leos are royal, dignified—and what musician thinks he’s more regal than Prince? He practically has the royal purple in his genetic code. Leos are also exuberant and dramatic, with a tendency to be more self-assured than modest. "Musicology," a latter day joint from Prince, reflects these Leonine qualities. Prince wasn’t content to release his funkiest song in over a decade; he had to go out of his way to diss the entire DJ/turntable culture while doing it. That authoritative enthusiasm is pure Leo.

Virgo (August 23-September 22)—“Panic” by The Smiths
Virgos are associated with purity and sharp analytic skills, as well as perfectionism and overt criticism. The Smiths lead singer Morrissey is all these things and more. At his peak, he was a sharp critic of modern life (“Panic” is a clever indictment of meaningless radio-friendly music) who occasionally went too far (declaring “Meat Is Murder” is a bit harsh and prissy). And talk about purity—Morrissey even took a celibacy vow at one point, paving the way for the Jonas Brothers and their rings.

Libra (September 23-October 22)—“Sunday Bloody Sunday” by U2
As Libras are defined by a sense of justice, their quintessential song must come from U2. Aside from being even-tempered and diplomatic (need I remind you Bono is a liberal on friendly terms with W. Bush?), Libras are also charismatic and extravagant. Ummm…Bono, anyone? But this song about oppression and violence is an articulate plea for justice and sanity—Libras at their best.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)—“Dazed and Confused” by Led Zeppelin
Intense passion. Intense power. Are we talking about Scorpios? Or are we talking about Led Zeppelin? Maybe we’re talking about both. This musically intricate Zep jam is like the souls of Scorpios—complex, focused, and often jealous. “Dazed and Confused” is so musically intent on conveying jealousy and conflicting emotions that it puts the listener into a hypnotic trance. And Scorpios' intensity and power have been known to do that.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)—“Rock Lobster” by The B-52s
Sagittarius is an odd combination of intelligence and childishness, straightforwardness and dynamic openness. The B-52s have to be the most childishly clever band in rock history. They’ve spent their entire career lovingly spoofing the fashions, paranoia, and sci-fi goofiness of ’50s pop culture. Sometimes they are hilarious, sometimes they’re just juvenile, but like Sagittarius, what you see is what you get: wonderful craziness. In their words: “We were at the beach / Everybody had matching towels / Somebody went under a dock / and there they saw a rock / But it wasn’t a rock / It was a rock lobster!” Wait.... what?

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)—"Money Talks" by AC/DC
In ways, it’s hard to find Capricorn-type material in the rock world—stability, rigidity, and hard work aren’t the first terms that come to mind when you hear “rock star.” But AC/DC is no ordinary rock band—they’ve been successfully mining the same sound for decades without lowering their ambitions and settling for the oldies circuit. “Money Talks” gives you a sense of why these Australians haven’t wavered from their crunchy, rigid hard rock style: It pays rrrrrreeeeeeally well. And even though they party hard, they’ve remained rather responsible and treated “rock god” as a career, managing to truck on years after their competitors got stuck singing cheesy ballads (Hey Aerosmith! What's up Rod Stewart?).

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)—"Paper Planes" by M.I.A.
M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” sounds like music's possible future—a mixture of singing, rapping, rock, and electronica, peppered with global concerns coming from a creative, independent voice. Aquarians are creative rebels—questioning accepted norms but trying to entertain while doing so. Similarly, M.I.A. creates progressive music that challenges while still sounding awesome. For instance, what’s with the rhythmic gunshots in this song? Is she pro violence? Is it satire? Realism? Just a cool sound? All we know is it makes us think and gets our hips moving. And hips don’t lie, so she must be on to something.

Pisces (February 19-March 20)—"Kids" by MGMT
Although Pisces are practical in an everyday sort of way, deep down they are dreamy romantics with souls living in a beautiful and bittersweet world. MGMT’s “Kids” is a perfect fit for the Pisces personality. The song is about Andrew Wood, lead singer of Mother Love Bone, who died just days before his band’s debut album came out in 1990. MGMT’s sweet, melancholy tribute to Wood romanticizes his whimsical, childlike personality, but it tempers that dream with some practical concerns: “Control yourself, take only what you need from it.” This real life honesty and loving romanticism is total Pisces.

What song do YOU think sums up you and your sign? If you had to put your faith in rock or astrology, which would you pick? Is the whole zodiac thing a bunch of hogwash or is it eerily accurate?