Urban Myth Takedown!

Urban Myth Takedown!

By Joe_Lynch

If you’re are cool (meaning, a fan of SparkNotes on f-book), you may have noticed we invited you to run some urban myths by us. And if you're uber-cool, you did just that. (And if you're already cool but need to be cooler, don't worry! Just follow this link and do what your heart says is right.)

And now, let's take a look at these Sparkler-submitted urban myths and judge their veracity.

MYTH #1: Wait twenty minutes after eating to swim or you will get cramps and DROWN!!

This is one of the more tragic urban myths—not one death by drowning has ever been attributed to eating and swimming, but countless hours of watery shenanigans have been forgone because overcautious parents think [hot dog] + [watery splashing] = DEATH.

While it’s probably wise to avoid triathlon-style swimming after eating a pot roast, it’s not dangerous to eat a regular-sized meal and hit the ocean/pool for casual, non-competitive swimming. Doing so will not give you cramps of any kind.

And even if it did, that’s no death sentence: cramping doesn’t incapacitate your whole body. At worst, you will get an isolated muscle cramp that can be eliminated by tensing and relaxing the muscle. Worst-case scenario, you'll drift until someone comes to help you—remember, your body floats on water, and a cramped muscle is no heavier than a relaxed muscle.

MYTH #2: Can farting too much burn a hole in your underwear?
Well, it hasn't yet. Err…..I mean, this is a myth.

Similarly, no one has actually died from fart poisoning. Yeah, I know you’ve gotten emails that claim some sleeping dude choked on his own noxious fumes, but you should probably discard any email that proclaims itself to be “TRUE!” within the first sentence. No matter how much sickening gas you pump into the air, there’s nothing poisonous about flatulence. And you can’t physically expel enough gas to replace the amount of oxygen in an enclosed area.

While it's not possible to die by our own flatulence, it may turn out we all die because of cow farts. I'll say it again: we may all die from cow farts. How is this possible? Well, apparently contemporary cow feed causes bovines to expel (i.e., burp and/or fart) methane, which holds the number two spot on the Billboard Hot Planet Heat-Trapping Gases Chart. Carbon dioxide is worse, but methane has twenty times the heat-trapping power. And one peaceful bovine pumps 200-400 pounds of methane into the atmosphere a year!

HOW CAN WE STOP THEM?! By eating them faster? Sadly, no. Experts are working to change the cows' diets and "meat" (haha, so unbelievably clever) this Great Cow Menace head-on.

MYTH #3: If you enter your PIN number backward at an ATM, the cash machine dispenses your money AND calls the police.
This rumor started via a viral email that claims if you are forced to remove your hard-earned dough (or the money you got from Grandma) at gunpoint from a cash machine, you just enter your PIN backwards and the police will  immediately be notified and come to your rescue.

Technology is advanced enough to make this a plausible scenario, and some states have even tried to introduce legislation to this effect. But it hasn’t even come close to reality. And really, why bother? Once the robber has your cash, how are you gonna keep him around for the ten minutes it takes the police to arrive? You better have a really awesome song and dance routine.

MYTH #4: If you sit too close to the TV, you will you ruin your eyes.
Apparently, this used to be true—pre-1950s TV sets did emit enough radiation to damage eyes after A LOT of exposure. But about sixty years ago, technology advanced far enough that eye damage ceased to be a concern. So unless you are using a WWII-era TV set, don’t worry about it.

MYTH #5: Carrots help you see in the dark, so finish your plate!
Speaking of eyes and WWII, this was a myth the Allies cooked up. The British leaked reports that their pilots were eating U-boatloads of carrots, which allowed them to see German fighter planes at night. But this super vision wasn’t thanks to the carrots, nor the force—the Allies had invented a new, superior type of radar system to protect the UK, and they didn’t want their secret found out.

This goofy cover-up story isn't a total lie, though. Carrots contain beta-carotenem which does help protect your eyes from infection, though it will not improve your vision. But before you run to the fridge and start overdosing on carrots, read on! Too much beta-carotene can cause carotenemia, which means your skin turns orange or yellow. So....yeah. Continue not eating carrots all that often.

MYTH #6: Drinking too much water can kill you.

This one is true. It’s called water intoxication, and it happens if you drink a great deal of water in a short amount of time. Your kidneys can’t process it, your blood becomes diluted with water, and you can go into a coma and/or die. Yikes.

What? Water kills? Is nothing safe? Well, if you use your common sense, you'll be fine. Watery deaths involve people pushing their bodies to absurd limits: for example, drinking six liters of water in three hours (without peeing) to win a contest or to be accepted into a fraternity. Yeah, don't do that.

Other deaths by OD-ing on H2O have happened when people get incredibly dehydrated and try to overcompensate—we’re talking marathon runners or ecstasy users here (two groups not typically grouped together in the same sentence). Fortunately, official marathons have doctors who are trained to watch for signs of water intoxication. As for dropping some E, just…don’t go there.

MYTH #7: If every living person jumped on one side of the world, it is possible to knock the Earth off its axis.
The officials of World Jump Day urged people to do this on July 20, 2006. And as you can tell, the organizers either messed up or they were wrong.

......And you guessed it: they were wrong. Scientists say you can’t change the earth’s orbit using its own mass—and all six billion of us are part of that mass. Even if six billion additional people hit the earth from outer space, it still wouldn’t be enough. This helpful physics website says the energy from that impact would be no more than 2% of the energy released by an H-bomb. So you can safely go ahead and JUMP!

SparkLife: 7. Urban myths: 1.

Oh, regarding the pic, it is true that unicorns barf rainbows.

What other urban myths are gnawing at your brain? Which myths do you wish were true? And which ones that we debunked ARE true, because your friend’s cousin’s ex-girlfriend knew a guy who farted while watching TV in a sealed box and ended up blind AND dead?

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