OMG! Robert Pattinson Was Hit By a Car!

Whoa! For reals, Robert Pattinson was swiped/grazed/sort-of-hit by a taxi while filming his new movie, "Remember Me," in New York last week. Calm down. CALM DOWN! He's fine. It really wasn't a big deal. OK, so maybe it was a big deal. But he's not hurt. And his hair is still swirlicious.

But this incident does highlight an issue of major concern here at SparkNotes. According to a few news accounts of the incident, Pattinson was clipped by the cab because he was trying to maneuver around a pack of fans. Yes, that's right. His life was endangered because rabid-Twilight-readers-gone-wild a large group of people blocked his way as he was exiting a bookstore. While it's totally understandable that you'd want to camp out on the sidewalk if you knew your fave actor/athlete/author was in the neighborhood, the goal should be to get his attention, not kill him.

So, to help you find that perfect balance of fandom (the type that might garner you an autograph, a "Hey!", or even a very brief convo), here are some guidelines:

Do: Make a really creative poster that shows your personality and says something about why you might like this particular celeb.
Don't: Include naked photos of yourself standing, sitting, or lying next to that celebrity.

Do: Wear something that makes you stick out in a crowd: a unique accessory like a hat or a really awesome pair of sneakers.
Don't: Dress up as the character that made this person famous. It might be a little creepy.

Do: Shout something unexpected and attention-grabbing, like, "Do you know the relationship between a circle's circumference and its radius?"
Don't: Bring a bullhorn and blow out your fave celeb's eardrums.

Do: Offer her a lovely refreshment, like some lemonade or freshly baked apple pie.
Don't: Spike it with sleeping pills so you can kidnap her and keep her as your secret friend.

Do: Write a song about why you like this person and get your friends to sing it in three-part harmony with you.
Don't: Write that song as a polka, complete with accordion accompaniment.

Do: Ask if you can take a photo with him.
Don't: Surreptitiously follow him into the bathroom and snap pics from inside a stall. Very creepy. And probably illegal.

Do: Pretend that you're with the posse so that you can slip past other fans.
Don't: Piss off the celeb's bodyguard.

Do: Rehearse the first few things you'd say to her if you got to meet, so that if/when it happens, you're prepared.
Don't: Tell her about that time you farted in gym class while doing sit-ups.

Do: Bring along something unique for him to autograph. Maybe a ticket stub from his first movie or a personal keepsake, like a journal.

Don't: Ask him to sign your body.

Do: Look nice. Make sure your clothes are clean and you showered that morning. You could also find out what your celeb's favorite color is and wear something featuring that shade.
Don't: Paint your body to look like your insides.

Have you ever had a celeb encounter? How did it go down? Share your star sightings in the comments!