Competitors, warm up those thumbs and do some stretches cause it's time for the 2009 Texting Championship! No, we're not even making this one up. The phone company, LG, is holding this year's competition in Canada (don't worry, even texters not prone to adding "eh?" after sentences are allowed to compete). And before you go scoffing at this as some advertising-gimmicky-waste-of-time, please note that the winner gets $50,000. Yeah, that's some serious cash.
In order to qualify, potential participants, called "contextants" (not really), have to beat the clock by turning regular ole' English phrases into text language—you know, "Are you there yet?" becomes "r u thr yet?" And while we hate to burst your bubble, the time to enter has now passed. As your favorite coach would say (in text abbreviation, of course), "dnt wry chmp, thrs alwys nxt yr." But fear not, because we've come up with a little texting tourney that you host while you get ready for next year. Ready, set, text!
Qualifying Round: Speed Texting
Accuracy counts in this round. Without using predictive text or text abbreviations type out the following sentences as fast as humanly possible.
-The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
-Why is a fox jumping over a dog?
-Oh man, that dog is pissed off now. Look, he's growling and is ready to fight!
-Oooooh, it's a dog/fox face off. Can't we all just get along?
-Nice! The quick brown fox and the lazy dog are now shaking hands and agreeing to a peace treaty. How very diplomatic.
Quarter finals: Damage Control
You accidently sent a text to your crush, Rob, that was meant for your best friend, Robyn. But that's not all: In the text, you were gushing about your crush! What do you text Rob to explain the mistake without further embarrassing yourself? Bonus points if Rob asks you out or confesses a mutual crush on you.
Semi final: Texting Etiquette
Answer the following multiple choice question:
You're out to dinner with your entire family and your parents have told you that you're not allowed to text during the meal. Your phone is on vibrate and you feel it go off—and you know there's some major drama going on between your best friend and his or her s.o. How do you respond?
a) Don't text back. Your parents will take away your phone and internet privileges for a week if you do.
b) Pull out your phone at the table and when your parents look at you, shocked at your flagrant display of disrespect, tell them, "Whatevs, this is more important than some chow with the fam."
c) Without taking your phone out of your pocket, try to text a response through your pants. Even if it comes out completely wonky, your friend will know you're trying.
d) Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom where you can respond in privacy and without any consequences.
Final Round: Text Creativity
Come up with the most creative and convincing original emoticon. Bonus points for evoking an eye roll and/or a groan.
Alright, we want your answers -- especially to that final challenge. Post your emoticons (and an explanation) in the comments!
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