Bikini Body Breakdown

We here at Sparknotes love summer. Love it! It's like the whole world's turned into a delightful glass of lemonade. And summer, of course, means we're finally able to spend copious amounts of time in the beautiful outdoors again. Summer is, no duh, h-o-t-t hot so everyone's wardrobe is abbreviated. And if you're at the beach, it will be even skimpier, inevitably magnifying all your body hang-ups: Ugh, my arms! Ugh, my legs! Ugh, my pallor!

I've never been an outdoorsy type gal. I'm pale and I burn like a piece of toast if I venture into the sun. So whenever we had P.E. at the pool during the last few weeks of school, needless to say, I was none too thrilled.There wasn't much structure to what we were doing; it was more like an hour long pool party every afternoon. For most people I'm sure it was awesome, but I just sat bundled up in my towel like a monk on the side of the pool. The reasons for this were a.) I didn't want to get burned and look like an itchy tomato for a week, and b.) I hated wearing my bathing suit. Seeing all the petite tan cheerleader types prancing around made me nervous...and envious. I was too tall and too starkly white to ever look like them and no amount of dieting or wishing would change that.

Now, I am better—I actually just spent my bday at the beach, which I would never have done a few years ago. But if I know I'm going to be in a bikini, my eating habits do change (meaning, I actually make an effort to eat vegetables). Why? On any normal day I think I'm hot stuff, but a bikini brings up a whole mess of fears and insecurities I thought I had put behind me. Yet here I am, still worrying I'm too pale to be seen on the beach, and that my whiteness will surely blind some unsuspecting sun-bather.

Does anyone ever (really) think she/he looks perfect in a bathing suit, or are we all destined to have mini bikini (or speedo?!) breakdowns whenever we suit up?