In this age of emailing and texting, letters and postcards are beginning to seem like an old-fashioned relic of the past. The U.S. Postal Service is trying to stay relevant by doing stuff like releasing stamps featuring The Simpsons—which might have been cool and hip in 1997.
Since the postal service is always a few steps behind pop culture trends, we here at SparkNotes would like to nominate more relevant stamp ideas. (Yes, we know that you can make and print your own stamp designs, but that's not the point. We're trying to save the Postal Service). Here's a rundown of our best ideas:
Idiots of Reality TV Stamps – In each book, you get 20 different stamps. 15 of these will be pictures of Spencer Pratt. Four of the stamps will be close-up photos of his ridiculous facial hair. And the last stamp will feature anyone on a VH1 show.
Keyboard Cat Stamps – Can you think of a better way to send a letter to your boyfriend that says the two of you should just be friends? Didn't think so.
Xbox 360 is Better than PS3 Stamps – Because you know it's true. (Flame war to start in three…two…one…)
Nerd-Rock Stamps – Some music legends, like Elvis, are immortalized on stamps. But the nerd-rock genre goes unrecognized. Put the Decembrists or Death Cab For Cutie on a stamp and watch as skinny guys and girls wearing hoodies, arty T-shirts, and thick glasses flock to the post office.
Stamps Featuring the Death Machines in the Saw Movies – These films aren't very good at all, but some of the torture devices are creative in a sick way.
Funny People Who Aren't Dead Stamps – The USPS sometimes recognizes legendary comedians like Bob Hope, but they should showcase some funny people that are still alive, such as Conan O'Brien, Kristen Wiig, and the cast of Reno: 911.
Stamps of People Who Came in Second Place – From athletes to politicians, the runner-ups never get their own stamps. These would be funny and sad.
Katy Perry Stamps – We hate to say it, but in a few years, the world's going to forget all about her. So either give her some stamp-love now, or she'll never get it at all.
Stamps Featuring Baby Photos of Gangster Rappers – These stamps will be as cute as they are poetic.
LOST Stamps – The "Lost in the Mail" news story practically writes itself, and don't tell us you never wanted to stick Ben to an envelope.
Disappointing Summer Movies of 2009 Stamps – So far, they can make stamps for X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Terminator: Salvation. And we're willing to bet Land of the Lost and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will make the cut, too.
Twitter Stamps – These stamps will feature popular Twitter phrases such as "Going to mall," and "@brlurpopk: I'm Going to tHe MalLL."
Facebook Stamps – These will be similar to the Twitter Stamps, but every third stamp will be a stupid quiz such as, "Which Rice Krispies Elf Are You?"
MySpace Stamps – No one will use these anymore, so make them the 3-cent stamp or the 1.04-cent stamp.
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