Over It Part Two: How to Break Up with a Friend

Judging by the comments to our 5 Signs You Need to Break Up with a Friend post, it's safe to say that we are all in agreement: Breaking up with friends blows. It's worse than breaking up with an s.o., worse than failing a major test, worse than a lot of really bad things (which is saying something). So how does one actually break up with a friend? Here are a few hints that could be a big help:

1.) Be honest. Ok, so that's a bit of a duh, but when it comes to something this tricky, honesty really counts. Be honest with yourself first and foremost: If you aren't happy in the friendship, it's okay to admit that. And be honest with the friend in question. This isn't the time to list all the grievances you have about him/her, obviously—like that one time he/she stole your soda at lunch and blah blah blah—but you also don't need to pretend that you've just grown apart if that isn't the case.

2.) Have a chat. Not the easiest option, admittedly, but this could be the difference between salvaging the friendship and letting it go. The funny thing about actually talking it out is that you might discover there's been a misunderstanding. Maybe that whole issue about her liking your boyfriend was just in your head. But if the friend in question gets shouty and defensive, don't reciprocate. Fighting is never a good idea, even if you really want to give her a good punch for being so stupid and thick-headed. Punch a pillow instead.

3.) If talking fails, write a letter. Now, I like this one, because if like me you get nervous in critical situations and forget everything you want to say, this is a good way to get it down on paper. Again, be honest here. Say that you feel things have changed between you, and you don't think you want to be friends anymore. But don't be mean. You don't have to be an uber-jerk to get your point across.

4.) Stay honest! Ok, so there's a good chance some friends are going to get in the crossfire of the breakup which may make things difficult for the group. Don't be the friend that makes people pick sides. Chances are no one wants to anyway, and there's no reason the both of you can't keep your other friendships in tact. If you have to hang out with ex-friend when you see your mates, be civil. Cattiness is never cute. And if your other buddies ask what's up, tell the truth. They just might understand more than you think.

5.) If you really can't be around your friend anymore, walk away. Yep, walk away, and end it. Don't talk again. Ignore ex-friend as best you can. Now, this is hard of course, but if you've done everything to be kind and honest on your end and ex-friend isn't going down without a blowout fight, walk away. It may seem at the time that you'll never have another friend like X again, but life has a funny way of filling in the blanks, which means awesome new friends are right around the corner.

I hope this helps! If anyone has other advice, leave it in the comments, so we can all deal with the unbearable together.